TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
One of the most concerns of the parents is their children's education. They want the children get sucession in their coarses with high grades. To do so, parents may try various ways to encourage children. Some people believe one way to stimulate children is to give them money for each high grade which is attained in the schoold. In my way of thinking it is not good idea to offer them money for high marks because not only does it misslead them on the concept of the study, but also it becomes a routine behaviour for them.
The first reason which should be stated here is that offering money will chage the coprehend of study. Children should know that they study for themselves. Poeple increase their knowledge to have a better life and bettter understanding of the surounding world. Also, it helps them to enhance their awareness in a particular object which will lead do their future carear. However, offering money for better study is not a good way because it makes them to study for the reseved money. They will think that the they study for their parents, and the money becomes the purpose of them. In this way they lose the real goal of study, and may lose their motivations because a little money for good mark is not a enough stimulation for study a long time.
The other reason which deserves some words here is that giving money will be a normal behaviour for children. When parents give them money for high scores for a long time, it will be a routine for children, then it will lose its influence as a motivation. After a while, students will not be eager for getting the money which makes a decreas in their study marks. In addition, parents may confront with financial problems, and cannot be able to afford the prise money. By then, the child will not study any more Since they used to give money for study.
To summarize, parents should not allocate money for high grades which are attained by their children in the school. It will change the concept and certaing goal of study in the children's mind, and will become a repitity behaviour after a long time which will lose its value as a stimulator.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'they'?
Suggestion: the; they
...the reseved money. They will think that the they study for their parents, and the money ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 704, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...use a little money for good mark is not a enough stimulation for study a long tim...
^
Line 5, column 453, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... problems, and cannot be able to afford the prise money. By then, the child will not stud...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, then, while, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1749.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5905511811 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.29122884291 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.438320209974 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 535.5 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.6752613112 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.0526315789 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0526315789 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36842105263 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.36003685203 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133604133808 0.076458572812 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0722205788843 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.239341853222 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0668839821464 0.0645574589148 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.