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TPO 40.Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics: TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

30vil's picture

There have been some moot points about giving money to children for their high grade. The question of whether this action is beneficial or not has aroused as a subject of controversy among academicians. When it comes to my position, by weighing up the cons and pros, I strongly subscribe to the point that giving praise such as money is lucrative. I have some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be explicated in the ensuing paragraphs.
The first reason worth discussing here is that children usually do not tend to study their lessons because they are very playful in this age, therefore, everything which encourages them to be serious in their education is very important. Money is one of the most important things which increase children enthusiastically. Thus, parents can praise their children by money. As a case to the point, I vividly remember when I was a student at the primary school, I was very playful and did not fulfill my assignments. As a result, I took very low grades. My parents told me if I took a high mark in mathematics, they would raise my pocket money equally. This idea led to improving my grades. My personal experience competently corroborates to the point that giving money toward high marks is a good idea.
By the same token, another paramount reason to be mentioned here is that scholars assert that encouragement psychologically, has a great impact on kids learning the ability. Since the dawn of humanity, human's abilities enhance due to praise. Hence, many advisors suggest to parents to enthusiasm their children by gifts and prizes. My personal example demonstrates this reality, two days ago I watched a program on the BBC channel which shows that some scientists contrived an experiment to evaluate the effects of parents praise on children grades. This test clarified that children who took money toward their high marks tried more to gain more money. My personal example shed some lights on the point that gifts such as money, are very fruitful for children education.
To wrap it up, according to the aforementioned reasons, I reiterate that, giving money toward high grades have many advantages. This action not only increases children learning ability but also psychologically enhance juveniles efforts.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 87, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: Whether; The question whether
...money to children for their high grade. The question of whether this action is beneficial or not has ar...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, so, therefore, thus, such as, as a result, by the same token

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1888.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 375.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03466666667 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8570069809 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2560971983 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.4 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.75 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308161104926 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898024448913 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0670657599095 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176422584447 0.150856017488 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0578292747297 0.0645574589148 90% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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