TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Without a shadow of the doubt, parents play a pivotal role in the development of their kid. It is provocative question whether parents spend time to play with children or they should help in the school work. In my opinion, parents should involve with young one’s in physical activities like sports or games. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First and foremost, with the advent of the technology, students spend most of time with their gadgets like laptop and computer. It leads to the sedentary lifestyle and invites many health problems including obesity and diabetes. If parents spend their playing with them and in that way, they can motivate their kids to do some physical healthy activity. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I was nine years old, my father used to take me to the playground and we played basketball and soccer over there. I was very energetic and healthy student, always participated in annual sports meet and won many medals. On the other hand, one of my friends, Riya, her mother was very obsessed with academic subject like math and English and all time, she had to do study at home. Eventually, she faced depression because of the pressure of the study. She had not only threatened her health, also took break from studies almost entire year.

Secondly, school work become very hectic in the modern world, many subjects are introduced in the school. After school, youngsters become tired and feel burdensome, and if parents also start asking about their school work, might be they try to ignore you. On the other hand, when you play fun games, they believe in you and even discuss their problems related to study. Furthermore, methods of education have changed drastically, in that way, parents cannot help their kids in a better way. Because their traditional methods of educating are obsolete in the modern society. I believe, mentors do their job more efficiently because they are up to date in their profession. Moreover, after playing they feel more freshen and it enhances their intellectual and motor skills. Parents who spend their time playing with their teens, can teach important social lesson including team work and how to relate with others, in a more approachable way. Therefore, engaging your juvenile in sport activities make them healthy as well ability to learn at broaden level.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that guardians who spare time for games and fun movements, their children become healthier, and learn the basic interacting skills.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...cannot help their kids in a better way. Because their traditional methods of educating ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 115, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and fun movements, their children become healthier, and learn the basic interacti...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, i feel, in conclusion, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2148.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00699300699 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53028558262 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564102564103 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.0482943156 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.3913043478 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.652173913 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.82608695652 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26297912099 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0674652944672 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0666018837357 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164733113568 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0136580538027 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.