TPO 45- independent writing taskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.Use s

Making decision has been a challenging practice over the time, especially for youth. In my opinion, todays people are less reliant on their parents to make their lives decisions. I feel this way for two main reason which I will explore in the following passage.
To begin with, extension of modern technologies has made youth more self-sufficient. In favor of now technologies such as TV, Internet and social media, most of people are able to access to a variety of information easily. As a result, contemporary people have a powerful source of data to help them make their decision more convenient. For example, as my father says when he was young, he was influenced by his father's job to continue his career after him. He goes that way because his father was his only source of information for him. On the other hand, when I supposed to pick my future career, I begun to surf the net. I wasn’t relied on my father, because I could obtain a lot of valuable information through the net which had not been available in my father's time. This shows how evolution of modern technologies has made youth autonomous.
Secondly, the knowledge of parents is limited than before. In the past, there were some limited fields of knowledge, hence parents could help their children in that circumstances. In contrast, nowadays, the knowledge has extended, and lots of new fields of expertise and modern problems has developed which our parents aren't even familiar with them. My own experience is compelling evidence of this concept. When I entered my graduate university, I asked my father to help me find best field as my major. While he had studied 30 years ago, he couldn't deliver some valuable information to me. He even didn't know some just-coming field of study. I found his opinions old-fashion and, I referred to a council company. There I realized that old knowledges such as manufacturing which was my father interest would not be suitable for me in the future.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that modern people are less dependent on their parent that the past because they have access to widespread information which were not available in those days and because todays, parents are not familiar with modern technologies and can't properly guide their children.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 153, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
... such as TV, Internet and social media, most of people are able to access to a variety of info...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...roblems has developed which our parents arent even familiar with them. My own experie...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
.... While he had studied 30 years ago, he couldnt deliver some valuable information to me...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 600, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ome valuable information to me. He even didnt know some just-coming field of study. I...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 267, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...t familiar with modern technologies and cant properly guide their children.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, second, secondly, so, while, for example, i feel, i suppose, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1887.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9140625 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79816829774 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536458333333 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 590.4 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2549168416 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.8571428571 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2857142857 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85714285714 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190802125903 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0568117206921 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731325979904 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143962957189 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0732630138008 0.0645574589148 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.