TOEFL T P O 46 - Integrated Writing Task

Both essay and lecture are about using electronic records instead of medical paper records of doctors. The author suggests three advantages of electronic transcripts. The lecturer, however, rebuts all of these claims. She believes these advantages are flawed and couldn't be practical.
First of all, the writer of the article claims that using electronic records decreases costs by reducing expenses of storing data. He also, mentions that using such electronic records causes doctors don't need to transfer data because these data are easily in access. On the other hand, the lecturer challenges this claim. She implies that these costs' reductions aren't significant because doctors usually used to store their written reports as a backup. Also, doctors don't put their data in order so, they need to have copies of them.
Secondly, the author mentions that using electronic reports reduces errors that stem from illegible handwriting, improper transcription, etc. The professor disagrees with this idea. She states since most of the data are entered in computers by staff, they probably make mistakes too.
Finally, the writer of the essay claims that these electronic records will help researchers to conduct their projects more convenient. In contrast, the lecture presenter is of this opinion that this practice won't help researchers at all. She mentions that there are some privacy policies in the USA, and the researcher should follow strict processes to get their favorable data. For example, they must obtain permission from patients to access their information, and it is always possible that the patient decides to block them.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 264, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...elieves these advantages are flawed and couldnt be practical. First of all, the writer...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 199, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... such electronic records causes doctors dont need to transfer data because these dat...
^^^^
Line 2, column 362, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...She implies that these costs reductions arent significant because doctors usually use...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 467, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...tten reports as a backup. Also, doctors dont put their data in order so, they need t...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, for example, in contrast, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 22.412803532 152% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 30.3222958057 106% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1382.0 1373.03311258 101% => OK
No of words: 256.0 270.72406181 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3984375 5.08290768461 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55104145399 2.5805825403 99% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 145.348785872 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.59765625 0.540411800872 111% => OK
syllable_count: 414.9 419.366225166 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 3.25607064018 246% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0662251656 122% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.3300839526 49.2860985944 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.375 110.228320801 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 21.698381199 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4375 7.06452816374 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.27373068433 94% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.272083759551 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0996497079465 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0662205650399 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.162205337803 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 13.3589403974 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 53.8541721854 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.0289183223 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.74 12.2367328918 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.36 8.42419426049 111% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 63.6247240618 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.7273730684 56% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.