TPO 47 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Today all around the world, some interesting incidents happen every day. In my opinion, it is not essential for us to be aware of all this news. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will precisely explore in the following passage.
To begin with, there is a lot of information in the world, and pursuing all of them wastes our time. Nowadays, due to the expansion of modern technologies such as TV, the Internet, etc., people are able to get informed of all the happening around the world. This practice, however, requires infinite time. My own experience demonstrates this concept. Five years ago, when the telegram company just established, I got addicted to it. I started my morning by checking Telegram to the end of the day. Although most of the news which I followed during the day was useless to me, I could not quit that habit. After a while, I realized I was spending most of my time on social media, but it was too late. Because I was taking the main part of my time surfing in cyberspace, I failed one of my courses. As you see, I would not fail that class, if I had spent my time on a study my assignments instead of wasting my time on social media.
Secondly, following all the news is harmful to our mental and physical health. As the main source of news is social media, people mostly check their phones, TVs, and laptops. Recent studies have shown that using this equipment more than two hours a day, not only causes some vision irritations but also, brings about some psychosocial disease. My story from one of my friends is compelling evidence of this claim. four years ago, when I arrived dormitory, I met my first college friend, and over time, I have grown fond of him. As I observed he spent most of his time behind his laptop, I suggested him to give his eyes a bit rest. He, however, ignored my benevolent request. Just after four months, he fell ill with a vision irritation, and when he referred to the doctor, the doctor told him he cannot use his laptop without glasses anymore. That was painful to him because unless he used glasses, he would have taken head pain.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that we don't need to follow all the news around the world because not only it would take all of our time, and we don’t have any time for other our responsibilities, but also it causes some painful disease.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Four
...s is compelling evidence of this claim. four years ago, when I arrived dormitory, I ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 43, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... conclusion, I strongly believe that we dont need to follow all the news around the ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, while, as to, i feel, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1925.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 428.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.4976635514 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51017124731 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551401869159 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 605.7 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9200422861 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.6956521739 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6086956522 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52173913043 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0697564460764 0.236089414692 30% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0218760648988 0.076458572812 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0282481681225 0.0737576698707 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0532830019437 0.150856017488 35% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0227526446788 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.82 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.