TPO 45- In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives
Since the dawn of humankind, making a right decision has been a profound impact on the human's future life. With this in mind, it is highly debated issue whether in the past younger person relied on their parents to make decisions and in these days young people make their own decision or vice versa. I totally agree that the situation has been changed, and nowadays, young people rely on o themselves so as to make decisions; therefore, I support my point of view by two reasons namely, accessibility to quite a few media and changing their behavior to be an independent person. In the following paragraphs, I will substantiate this issue.
The first reason that should be mentioned in order to support my view is that by the arrival of new social media and some application people can make their own decision without being helped by their parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people would be able to experience all the upcoming happens, and also they can consult with the expert people in every field that they want to make decisions. For instance, when I was in high school, I did not know exactly which filed is suitable for me. Therefore, by using the social media and consulting with some people who were studying and also working in the different field, I had to come up with the idea and selected my field of study. The more you use these applications, the more you will be able to reach a correct decision because each person has its own specific idea regarding each field and issue. In contrast, there were not any application similar to that application, so the young people had to be dependent and allowed their parent to make a decision for them.
The other equally reason confirming that today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives is that they want to be an independent person because of changing in behaviors and characteristics of new people. Not only do they want to show their power to their parents and friend by making a decision and being independent, But also they think no one can help them on this issue. The situation is the same for me, where I make a decision, I would rely on my self without consulting with my parent. The recent study which is done by a renowned university in Iran has revealed that almost all the young people are willing to make a decision by themselves. The young people were given some questions, and the answers have been analyzed by psychologists. As a result, It was their tendency to be an independent person that encourage them to make a decision by themselves.
All in all, by taking all the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, one can conclude that today young person make decisions by themselves in contrast to the past young person that was dependent n their parents to make a decision because not only have they accessibility to some social media and application to consult with other people but also they want to be an independent person.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 402, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...days, young people rely on o themselves so as to make decisions; therefore, I support my...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 234, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Using
...their parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people woul...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 240, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people would be ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 675, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lling to make a decision by themselves. The young people were given some questions,...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, regarding, so, therefore, as to, for instance, in contrast, as a result, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2461.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 524.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6965648855 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63461853377 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410305343511 0.524837075471 78% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 778.5 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.2130441603 48.9658058833 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.764705882 100.406767564 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.8235294118 20.6045352989 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.476336874088 0.236089414692 202% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.180735316012 0.076458572812 236% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124861586311 0.0737576698707 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.346014028186 0.150856017488 229% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0651912676728 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 10.002688172 175% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.