TPO 46- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answ

It is generally agreed that celebrities influence young people more than older people. In this regard, personally, I am prone to believe that the viewpoints of celebrities have more weight for youngsters as compared to adults /than they have for adults/. I hold this opinion since young people are not matured enough to have independent views; and celebrities are at the center of their attention.
To begin with, people are not fully mentally developed at young age, and they need time to be able to make decisions by themselves. This is explained by the fact that young people do not possess required experience and knowledge, and, therefore, their primary social role is to get education. Not only do we acquire knowledge and skills at schools and colleges, but we also become more matured and develop independent thinking and analyzing abilities. For example, many years ago as a child at school I learned to read, to write, to communicate with other children. At university, on the other hand, I started to better understand the life, became more experienced and more able to make decisions on my own. So, young people need time to acquire the necessary for forming independent views knowledge and experience.
Additionally, at young age people are used to mimic thoughts and behaviors of the ones who are visible enough. In this regard, celebrities are often role models for their fans since they have fame and are shown on TV frequently. Children get used to and admire them since famous people occupy the minds and thoughts of youngsters. For instance, when I was a child I was admired by famous athlete Bruce Lee and his roles in movies. He was a celebrity who was cited by nearly each child at my school and his fame made me his fan. This in turn was a prerequisite for following his ideas and opinions expressed in the movies with his participation, and I knew his all expressions made in the films. Thus, the fame of celebrities makes children follow them.
To sum up briefly, the more we know, the less we are prone to follow the opinions of other people. However, children are influenced by celebrities because they are not matured enough, and because the fame of celebrities is extremely attractive for young people.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 262, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... extremely attractive for young people.
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, however, if, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1855.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 382.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85602094241 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72980924273 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497382198953 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 597.6 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.0452179177 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.055555556 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2222222222 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88888888889 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15032948511 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.056224964005 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464604195847 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100828454501 0.150856017488 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0222890110871 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.