TPO 46- The opinion of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are older people.
Nowdays, celebrities actively take part in communities for expressing and responding to social issues. It could be seen that youger people persu these meetings and speeches. While somebodies hold this opinion that it is just a curiosity, others look at this matter deeper. Latter group believe that these issues have more importance for youngers rather than olders, which I agree too. Following reseons will elaborate my prspective.
First and foremost, youth always need a hero to follow and famous persons is more likey to be so. in other words, since, celebrities seem more educated, successful and even wealthy; anyone by looking them make a dream to be like as them one day. that is why younger peoples are most impressed by actors, entertainers or athletes.
Second, celebrities in most cases are avantgard, doing something never did before. adventuresome activites done by some renowned persons, are what younger peoples admire. AZAM, an Iranian volleyball athlete, was a pioneer in cultural activites and became a leader for further movements. After him, many younesters mimic his tought and follow the path. Nevertheless, in his parents’ eyes, that was a non-rational tendency and nothing.
Briefly, opinions of famous persons are more important for youths because they found more attraction on it. Moreover, it is natural for youngsters to got a famous person as a hero rather than ordinary peoples. however, adults can not understand why they are attacted by celebrities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 246, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...ake a dream to be like as them one day. that is why younger peoples are most impress...
^^^^
Line 3, column 84, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Adventuresome
...gard, doing something never did before. adventuresome activites done by some renowned persons...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 210, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...as a hero rather than ordinary peoples. however, adults can not understand why they are...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
briefly, first, however, look, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, while, in most cases, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 52.1666666667 38% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1257.0 1977.66487455 64% => OK
No of words: 236.0 407.700716846 58% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32627118644 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.91947592106 4.48103885553 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82454906494 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.707627118644 0.524837075471 135% => OK
syllable_count: 395.1 618.680645161 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 22.798625918 48.9658058833 47% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 78.5625 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.75 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4375 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239626079975 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0654979813673 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751536134459 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133269308855 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0734127325071 0.0645574589148 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.81 58.1214874552 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.04 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 8.01818996416 118% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.