TPO 46
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
<span style="font-size: 19.36px;">becoming famous and well-known person is one of the most critical concerns of young people. Needless to say that </span>all of the<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> teenagers want to </span>participate<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> in celebrities such as famous people entertainers at various times in their life. Some people may find its crucial for the entire of their life as their </span>old time<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> </span>whereas<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> others would take the reverse. Even though some may think older people would love to </span>participate<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> in various celebrities as young men since they are in love with some </span>characteristic<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> well-known people. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that only young people are important to become in such entertainers. The following reasons are going to substantiate my stand-points.
The first fact that holds me this concept is that grown up people do not have enough time for these entertainers. It </span>can be<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> illustrated that every years human grows up, he will have more issues and social problems to attention. In fact, the best time to go for your interest is younger age. For example, when I was persuading my family business at the bakery equipment distribution company a few years ago, I went to any celebrities in my home town since I love to kill time with my close friends and be so happy in </span>initiate<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> years of my career. After a year, I showed less interest to </span>participate<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> in some programs since I had lots of jobs and work to do and have critical goal for my career life. So, it </span>can be<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> seen this opportunity could happen in my adult time if I have </span>sufficient<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> time to take care about my personal interest.
Another reason is that people mostly have action life in their young ages; hence, they need positive impacts of these celebrities </span>in order to<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> improve their energy. I read several articles at Iranian society journal about various impact of external activities which increase your positive energy about three months ago. The analyze the various impact of external beneficial activity which people needs; hence, they assume that these requirements change the more the people grow up. On of the articles estimates that about 80 percent of people whom </span>participate<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> in party or dancing entertainment are lower than 30. I can remember my personal experience when I was studying power electronics at </span>Sharif<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> university about nine years ago. I had friends who </span>encourage<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> me to come to their party and we have lots of great moments at that time; so, </span>in order to<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> increase our action aspect of life we </span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;">do a lot of</span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> things which are not my interest anymore. Today, I had my college friends and perfect relationship with them but we do</span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> not</span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> go to such party since our goal change. Therefore, it seems reasonable to assume from this </span>experience<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> that only younger people are interest more to go such activity.
In conclusion, though some may oppose the concept, people only spend their young ages to see famous athletes or actors. Not only they do</span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> not</span><span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> have </span>sufficient<span style="font-size: 19.36px;"> time in adult time, but also their interest changes as ages.</span>
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 165, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ung people. Needless to say that all of the ^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 372, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...positive energy about three months ago. The analyze the various impact of external benefici...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, nevertheless, so, therefore, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3653.0 1977.66487455 185% => OK
No of words: 559.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.53488372093 4.8611393121 134% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86242540663 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 5.34057432505 2.67179642975 200% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470483005367 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1012.5 618.680645161 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.5686719364 48.9658058833 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 166.045454545 100.406767564 165% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4090909091 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.54545454545 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0485662861635 0.236089414692 21% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0387101287907 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0322161700798 0.0737576698707 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0389207157339 0.150856017488 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0184710754404 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.0 11.7677419355 187% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.18 58.1214874552 50% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.1575268817 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 20.89 10.9000537634 192% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.5 10.002688172 165% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.