TPO24(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

Essay topics:

TPO24(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

It is a highly debated issue whether or not parents shall let their teenage children to take a part-time vocation and in that case prepare them for adult life and this topic can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. While some people tend to think that parents shall avoid children from working, even a simple part-time job during childhood shall be prohibited; others firmly hold the view that it is an excellent opportunity for the children to improve their abilities practically. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that both of them are right and it is the responsibility of every parents to enhance their children's abilities in many aspects and following discussion reveals my stand and justification.

To commence, my first subtle point which requires to be mentioned is that actually taking part in a part-time job would bring various and useful experience for the child during their spare times. Definitely, a relevant part-time activity helps children to put what they have learned into practice and see the consequences practically. Take my two brothers as an example, one of them used to go to different part-time vocations every summer, like carpentry, piping etc. However, the other one just spent his free time playing with his friends, going to game net etc. Consequently, the former became more responsible for his own work than the latter one; also, he understood how to spend the earned money more wisely. When I see the excellent consequences of having part-time on my older brother, I admire my parent to let my older brother get the appropriate benefit from his free time.

Having discussed the subject from that viewpoint, one would rather look at it from another perspective, so that other ways should not be neglected. Although, having a part-time job assists the children from many angles, reading and thinking more will broaden their horizon of knowledge about the world they are living in and gives them a better standing of the entire world. For instance, many parents encourage their children to read the biography of famous people during their free time and it finally help the children a lot and prepare them well for future life.

To recapitulate briefly, based on the aforementioned elucidations, I am in conviction that there are many ways to prepare children for adult life and it is the crucial responsibility of all parents to take the appropriate decision by considering the situations of their living.

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Average: 4 (1 vote)
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flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. The topic is asking for 'One of the best ways', while you were writing 'I am in conviction that there are many ways to prepare children for adult life '

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 2027 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.956 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.709 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.598 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.641 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.184 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

The topic is asked if I am agree with that statement or not!
And as you see i am agree with the topic but not totally and I offer other important ways too!
I do not undrestand why?
You mean we have to write one sided only?!

If you agree, then:

One of the best ways ...is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

why, you can put 2-3 reasons to support:

introduction... then:

reason 1: taking a part-time job can make money....

reason 2: taking a part-time job can get experience....

reason 3: taking a part-time job can make friends....

conclusion: so it is One of the best ways.

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If you don't agree, then:

...encouraging them to take a part-time job is not going to be the best way.

why, you can put 2-3 reasons to support:

introduction... then:

reason 1: taking a part-time job can waste time....

reason 2: taking a part-time job can lose interest on education....

reason 3: taking a part-time job can blabla....

conclusion: so it is not One of the best ways.
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or in this pattern:

paragraph 1: introduction.

paragraph 2: there are some advantages of taking a part-time job, like: make money,get experience, make friends..

paragraph 3: there are some disadvantages of taking a part-time job, like: waste time, don't focus on education...

conclusion: i think advantages are over disadvantages ...or disadvantages are over advantages.

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If you don't want to write the essay out of topic, better to support or again only one side. It is hard to control only agree/disagree part of the topic.