TPO27 (independent)If people have the opportunity of take a secured job they should take it right away, rather than waiting for a job that is more satisfying.

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TPO27 (independent)
If people have the opportunity of take a secured job they should take it right away, rather than waiting for a job that is more satisfying.

It is a highly controversial issue whether it is better to have a secure vocation or to choose a job that is more satisfying and this topic can be approached from several angles due to its importance. While some people tend to think that the best occupation is the one that is more secure, others firmly stated one of the major criteria for choosing a job is its satisfaction. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that humans' vocation should satisfied them in all aspects and following discussion reveals my stand and justification.

To commence, my first subtle point, which requires to be mentioned is that as ones' occupation will little by little become an important part of his life, the feature of satisfaction becomes more crucial. In other words, most of the humans usually leave their houses around 7 in the morning, and in ordinary vocation they come back home about 5 in the evening; if we exclude the time of sleeping from the total hours of the day, about 70 percent of humans life is spending in workplaces. Therefore, if the job is not satisfying for the people they will become depressed, for the sake of tolerating a bad workplace just for its security and maybe some economic reasons.

Another substantial explanation that can be taken into consideration is that as the employer is going to teach employees some important subjects related to the professions and it will waste their budgets if the employees leave their jobs. Considering the above mentioned in comparison to the fact that humans are always seeking diversity in every aspects of their lives. While, most of the secured professions, which usually guarantee people' lives, get promises from employees to work there for minimum 10 years , consequently most of the people in those secure workplaces will feel boring after one or two years and they cannot tolerate that routine job any more.

To recapitulate briefly, based on the aforementioned elucidations, I am in conviction that satisfaction plays an important role is people's decision when they are in situation of choosing their future job. This is not to say, of course, that other viewpoints are completely without merits. However, I think that the testimonies, I provided in favour of my opinion are stronger.

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Sentence: Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that humans' vocation should satisfied them in all aspects and following discussion reveals my stand and justification.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to should and satisfied

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1841 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.87 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.781 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.398 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5