TPO46
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people that they are to older people.
Our opinions are one of the most important factors in our lives. Genuinely, they have a profound influence on our personality. Although a plethora of people hold the opinion that celebrities have a significant role in young adults’ thought, others disagree with this point of view and believe that their role is more obvious in older people’s lives. I, to a great extent, hold this viewpoint that youth pay more attention to the prominent persons rather than the others. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs.
The first reason that juts out of my mind easily at the first moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that almost all young people are willing to become successful and accumulate a hoard of money in the not-so-distant future; therefore, they make a great deal of attempts to replicate a prosperous individual’s behavior. Since, famous persons have a lot of money, and they are successful youth think that they have to become similar to them. To shed more light on this matter, consider an athletes who is known all over the world. He has won majority of his competitions; therefore, he could aggregate so much asset. Hence, young people, who want to be someone like him, imitate his characteristic, behavior and so forth. As it is clear, celebrities are more followed by young adults than the older ones.
The second and equally exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that young individuals have an excellent access to the internet and thanks to it, they have an ability to find a great deal of knowledge in any field; therefore, they are more informed in comparison with adults. They are familiar with social networks such as Instagram, Telegram and so on, which are really some perfect sources to find information about renowned people. To make a tangible example, a research that has conducted by some scientists in my country has shown that almost 70 percent of people who are following prominent individuals, are young; therefore, youth unconsciously are more affected by famous ones.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that the celebrities’ ideas are more significant for the young. This conclusion is due to this importance that not only do they want to become someone like them but also they follow them because of having more access to the internet, social networks and so on.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 499, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an athlete' or simply 'athletes'?
Suggestion: an athlete; athletes
...hed more light on this matter, consider an athletes who is known all over the world. He has...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 818, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed by young adults than the older ones. The second and equally exquisite proof f...
^^^
Line 3, column 112, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'excellent access'.
Suggestion: excellent access
... importance that young individuals have an excellent access to the internet and thanks to it, they ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 483, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...ned people. To make a tangible example, a research that has conducted by some scientists i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, really, second, so, therefore, such as, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2095.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87771756189 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.534606205251 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 656.1 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.9219338313 48.9658058833 165% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.9375 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1875 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6875 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202578187472 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658850957912 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0389006632381 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127436777634 0.150856017488 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0204144768029 0.0645574589148 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 11.7677419355 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.