TPO54- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Every year, government draw up a meticulous plan to share its budget with different organization such as education, sport, and art, to name but a few. In this regard, there is a long-standing discussion among officials about how they split their budget between different spheres. Some authorities believe that government should spend more money on aesthetic. others, however, advocate the idea that the whole society can take advantages of government’s attention to athletics. I personally, concur with the latter. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most important reasons.
To begin with, athletes could be a role model for the whole society so that encourage people to care about health. people with different age, ranging from children to elder individuals, keep track of athletics' performance and life. they desire to be strong and healthy such as athletics. Therefore, by seeing athletics, they strive a lot to be healthy and fresh. On large scale, investing on athletics improve society's health and decrease juvenile delinquency. In other words, promoting sport leads youths to prefer health rather than improper associates. For example, my brother is fond of soccer. he knows all teams and their players down to the smallest detail. he wants to be a soccer player and spends his leisure time doing exercise instead of wasting his time on improper friends. doing exercise helps not only to ethics but also to health. this clearly demonstrates that athletics play a crucial role in the society.
Secondly, sport can provide people with entertainment. most people like spend their free time on watching sport events such as Olympic, leagues and so forth. These entertainments are not expensive, so people in different social classes even lower one can benefit from them. In my opinion, tracking sports competitions are very exciting, as oppose to the aesthetics that are not only monotonous but also expensive. For example, in my country, people advocate sports by going to sport arenas and watching competitions. they enjoy watching the rivalry even their desire team lose.
All in all, I really believe that government should give primacy to sport rather than art works on the ground that sport sphere can encourage people to do sport and amuse them. Hence, should government allocate more money to sport field, people will be more satisfied with authorities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...t should spend more money on aesthetic. others, however, advocate the idea that the wh...
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... encourage people to care about health. people with different age, ranging from childr...
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...rack of athletics performance and life. they desire to be strong and healthy such as...
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... example, my brother is fond of soccer. he knows all teams and their players down ...
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...ir players down to the smallest detail. he wants to be a soccer player and spends ...
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...f wasting his time on improper friends. doing exercise helps not only to ethics but a...
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... not only to ethics but also to health. this clearly demonstrates that athletics pla...
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... can provide people with entertainment. most people like spend their free time on wa...
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Suggestion: as opposed to
... sports competitions are very exciting, as oppose to the aesthetics that are not only monoto...
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...sport arenas and watching competitions. they enjoy watching the rivalry even their d...
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Suggestion:
...ill be more satisfied with authorities.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, such as, in my opinion, in other words, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2019.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27154046997 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77281153327 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.57180156658 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.6062190943 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.76 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.32 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131528202694 0.236089414692 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0376686923193 0.076458572812 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042741015626 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0907949261782 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0455744482508 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.69 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.