TPO8: Television advertising directed toward young children (age two to five) should not be allowed.
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of children watching television advertisement aren't permitted by parents. As far as I concerned that it is not an appropriate thing to watch young kids for a number of plausible reasons, and I'll develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, watching a numerous advertisement of commercial effects on youngsters' vulnerable mental state and it brings a lot of negative consequences in their future. From two to five years old children's minds is not matured as same as people so they can't distinguish what it is right or wrong. it means that they can easily absorb a lot of unfiltered information such as includes porno, something they can understand but maybe it readily shape their mind. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by own witnessed experience. my little cousin is four years old this year but she couldn't normally talk to someone or act like her peers because in her early infancy years her parents have working so hard on their job and they paid little attention to their daughter so she had no choice but sat in front of the tv all the long and doing nothing. Interesting to note that one time I had to look after her and I recognised that her favourite channel had a lot of advertisement which most of them includes violent or sexual things. As a matter of fact, I suspected it must affect her mind strongly that no one expected it.
Secondly, Nowadays many channels have a lot of publicity which isn't given any knowledge to young kids who require it the most. However, Those broadcasters wanted more to receive a lot of money from commercial companies and they completely forgot that the best spectators of their tv channels are children. Drawing from my own experience, I hadn't any opportunity to go to kindergarten during my childhood so I had to stay my grandmother all day. As a matter of fact, I hadn't anything to do thus I spent a lot of time in front of the tv and watching Korean drama which has many advertisements during the movie serials. in the first year of elementary school, I deeply realised that I a lot missed my peers for the education of before school. Since that time, I don't prefer to watching tv a lot so now I feel much better and have received a great education from my high school.
In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that the advertisement for tv is not allowed to watching the young kids because of giving a lack of knowledge and it surely affecting their brain so intensely. I also assure that it brings a lot of negative aspects of our younger generations.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: aren't
...ldren watching television advertisement arent permitted by parents. As far as I conce...
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... for a number of plausible reasons, and Ill develop these ideas in the subsequent p...
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...ment of commercial effects on youngsters vulnerable mental state and it brings a ...
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Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...s not matured as same as people so they cant distinguish what it is right or wrong. ...
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... distinguish what it is right or wrong. it means that they can easily absorb a lot...
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Line 2, column 445, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
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Suggestion: shapes
...hey can understand but maybe it readily shape their mind. I have to admit that my opi...
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...influenced by own witnessed experience. my little cousin is four years old this ye...
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...sin is four years old this year but she couldnt normally talk to someone or act like he...
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...rking so hard on their job and they paid little attention to their daughter so sh...
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... channels have a lot of publicity which isnt given any knowledge to young kids who r...
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...dren. Drawing from my own experience, I hadnt any opportunity to go to kindergarten d...
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...dmother all day. As a matter of fact, I hadnt anything to do thus I spent a lot of ti...
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...dvertisements during the movie serials. in the first year of elementary school, I ...
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...entary school, I deeply realised that I a lot missed my peers for the education o...
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...on of before school. Since that time, I dont prefer to watching tv a lot so now I fe...
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...hool. Since that time, I dont prefer to watching tv a lot so now I feel much better and ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, i feel, such as, as a matter of fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2183.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 472.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.625 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6610686524 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80890258775 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514830508475 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.3307885783 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.411764706 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7647058824 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.5376344086 289% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0796266356347 0.236089414692 34% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0291420825197 0.076458572812 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.037348194601 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0595814320523 0.150856017488 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0278719298276 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 58.1214874552 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.