TPO8: Television advertising directed toward young children (age two to five) should not be allowed.
There is no doubt that nowadays advertisement is an inevitable part of humankind' life and people frequently see different products publicized at Television channels. This brings up a highly controversial topic whether television commercials targeted at young aged people should be banned or not. I agree with this stance because of the following reasons that I will explain.
The first reason that immediately comes to mind is that young children are lack of mental development. In fact, children have not ability to distinguish what is good or bad. If an advertiser introduces unhealthy products for them, it is likely that they will be negatively affected by advertisements. For instance, last night, a television program aimed at children publicized a new type of junk food. This food contained substantial amount of fat and sugar. I had not had any idea about this junk food before I found out that it a kind of potato chips. However, my younger brother could not recognize main ingredient of this food and he eagerly wanted to buy it. He did not understand my idea at all, instead he persisted to have it. Therefore, he went out in order to buy it from local store. After a while, it turned out that he had stomachache. This example demonstrates that if the commercial advertisements are allowed to show their products such as food for children at ages between two to five, children will observe them and tend to buy them without being aware that they are unhealthy. Hence, the commercial advertising directed toward children should be prohibited, as young children cannot differentiate right or wrong goods.
The second point worth discussing is related to families’ economic condition. In fact, parents may not have sufficient money to buy their children whatever the television promotion shows. When a child observes a product in the television advertisement, he/she tries to convince and enforce his/her father to purchase products that have been shown them. For instance, there is an advertisement about newly produced miniature motorcycle. My younger brother accidently saw it in the middle of commercial break and thus he started to cry and scream in order to enforce his father to purchase it. However, my father cannot afford it due to his financial situation. Further forces from the child caused father to take a high interest loan from a bank, which will, in turn, lead on financial pressure for the family. This example proves that television promotions lead on more dramatic damage to families' economic, unless they are uncontrolled. Therefore, television advertisements aims at children from two to five ages should not permitted.
In conclusion, according to above-mentioned factors, I contend that government should regulate commercials designed to young children because of children's undeveloped intellectual as well as families' economic circumstances. Why don’t you consider these factors as good reasons in supporting the plan of restricting television advertisement directed toward young aged children?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 665, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...ford it due to his financial situation. Further forces from the child caused father to ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1030, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'permit'
Suggestion: permit
...ildren from two to five ages should not permitted. In conclusion, according to above-me...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, kind of, no doubt, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 483.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30227743271 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06133688052 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544513457557 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 791.1 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.4214730595 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.5 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5769230769 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.76923076923 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32382174647 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0834080898242 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112820141336 0.0737576698707 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212280019474 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0611477483695 0.0645574589148 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.