TPO8The television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed

Essay topics:

TPO8
The television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed

Although some are inclined toward the opinion that television advertisements are educative to children and can improve their behavior and speech, on the other extreme of the rope, some believe that these tremendous advertisements have a negative and detrimental influence on young and preschool children. Both sides take their own positions, but I deeply believe that the latter group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will explain my reasons.

On the one hand, most of the television advertisements are not reliable and were made for economic goals and to encourage children to buy that product and when their parents order them and children want to use, they will understand that these advertisements are a noble lie, they are not true and real. This exaggeration and big lie can discourage the children to watch useful television programs, especially who are about two to five years old and who are very sensitive. Actually, young children are too young to comprehend and distinguish the fidelity of advertisements. They don't want to trust the other advertisements and movies again. They think that all programs are unreal.

On the other hand, young children may be attracted to various television advertisements and products and it will be a negative habit for them that can impact on their performance in their life such as educational and social performance. The producers of different products design and make various and attractive advertisements by using lovely pictures, cute figures, and graceful music for young children to motivate them to watch always commercial programs. These amusing advertisements not only disturb children's brains but also change their social behavior and bring about that children waste their time to watch ineffective and inappropriate programs. Like a virus propagating in human the body, these commercial will grow inside the children and as a result, the fact of watching television will transform a hobby into a negative habit. When children watch these purposeless commercial advertisements, their nutritional habits maybe affected and they will be attracted to unhealthy foods such as fast foods.

To put everything in a nutshell and broad look over the main points and discussions reveals the fact that, the more attractive the advertisements are, the more time children watching TV and the worse habit will young children have and as time goes on they will hate all of the advertisements.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 580, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...sh the fidelity of advertisements. They dont want to trust the other advertisements ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 426, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'watch'.
Suggestion: always watch
... for young children to motivate them to watch always commercial programs. These amusing adve...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 267, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...have and as time goes on they will hate all of the advertisements.
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, look, may, so, such as, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 29.0 13.8261648746 210% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2073.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31538461538 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02406412623 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 639.0 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.1876767271 48.9658058833 180% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.071428571 100.406767564 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8571428571 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64285714286 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249103685576 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0893301859798 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0622970153012 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155888939951 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0403069979306 0.0645574589148 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 11.7677419355 150% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.