You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend.

In today's societies, the question of it is better people dedicated their gift of money to whether going to a concert they want to attend or buying a piece of jewelry has become a controversial issue among people in many circles and camps. Different people have various types of responses to this topic based on their cultural, social, or even familial backgrounds. However, as far as I concerned, I prefer to spend this money to purchase the concert ticket for some reasons that I elaborate them in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, the first thing comes to mind right off the bat is that going to the concern make people feel better in comparison to buying some pieces of jewelry. In fact, concert gives a chance to some people to be with a plenty of dynamic persons, so he will easily get these energies. If people have enough energy, they can do a lot of job such as accomplish their project, fulfill their desires, devise some new ways, etc. Therefore, attending a concert can give people an intice to do a lot of big jobs. Let me shed a light on my point. I remember that when I was studying for university entrance exam one of my friends offered me to go to the Rock festival, this festival made me feel a lot of energy. Thus, I could study harder and attain my goal.

Another noteworthy aspect that should be mentioned is that concerts give an opportunity to people to spend a time and have fun with each other. how long someone associates with their friend especially close one, they become closer to each other. Close friend is a key factor in human life because every people need someone to count on him. Hence, funny programs like going to concert, stadium, and cinema is a proper situation for people to ameliorate their relationships.

In conclusion, there are a plenty of reasons to show that buying a ticket of the concert is better than purchasing some pieces of jewelry. Not only attending in a concert heighten the mental condition of people but also it helps them to tighten their friendships.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 332, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun job seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of jobs'.
Suggestion: a lot of jobs
... people have enough energy, they can do a lot of job such as accomplish their project, fulfi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...nd a time and have fun with each other. how long someone associates with their frie...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, so, therefore, thus, in conclusion, in fact, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1670.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 360.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.63888888889 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55059300778 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563888888889 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.5050984106 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.375 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5625 5.45110844103 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152681485575 0.236089414692 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0499254828733 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0540752499392 0.0737576698707 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108019629415 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.061598704902 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.