Young people enjoy life more than old people do? do you agree or disagree?

The curiosity and imaginative minds of the young people combined with their healthy body makes them enjoy life more than those people who are already in their late adulthood.

Young adults are curious. They like adventures and extreme activities. Their curiosity and imagination get them involved in different activities such as team sports, mountain climbing, and travelling. This activities once they were able to achieve it gives them a sense of fulfillment and happiness. I remember when I was in high school I was very curious on how it feels like to be on top of the mountain eventually, I found myself joining a trekking group. Having my first mountain climbing experience was not a smooth one, the trail was so slippery and steep, I almost felt like giving up. However, all of those negative emotions that I felt was replaced by a sense of joyfulness when we were able to reach the summit.

Another thing is that, due to aging older peoples' body tends to become weak hence, even though they still want to do the things that they enjoy the most, their physical and mental health no longer allows them. In contrast, having a healthy mind and body is what most young people have, their muscles and bones are still on their peak enabling them to do things that they enjoy the most. For example, my grandfather was an athlete before, he used to join the basketball games in our community, this is something that he enjoy doing. However, because he develop osteoporosis, a disease in which the bones are easily destroyed, even if he still wants to play basketball he was no longer allowed because his body can no longer handle it.

To sum it all up, because of their heightened curiosity, healthier body and mind, younger people tend to enjoy their life more the the old people as they are able to do most of the things that they would like to do.

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The curiosity and imaginative minds of the young people combined with their healthy body makes them
The curiosity and imaginative minds of the young people combined with their healthy body make them

Sentence: This activities once they were able to achieve it gives them a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and activities

all of those negative emotions that I felt was replaced by a sense of joyfulness
all of those negative emotions that I felt were replaced by a sense of joyfulness

that he enjoy doing
that he enjoys doing

because he develop osteoporosis
because he develops osteoporosis

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 327 350
No. of Characters: 1487 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.252 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.547 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.36 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.107 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5