Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Many would say that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. In some sense, it is true that fame and wealth in young ages is harmful for those who are not mature mentally. However, I still think that there is no reason that we should compel not being famous or recognized to the young people.
Admittedly, in some cases, being popular is not always good and sometimes lead to tragedic results. We can easily observe cases that young popular celebrities have become so arrogant and licentious that they ended up ruining their careers by themselves because of sexual scandal or drug abuse. In this regard, it is understandable that many people worry about the situations where the young have too much love from the public before the young grow up enough.
However, I still believe that the fruits such as recognition from the public and peer groups could be a strong motivation for the young. Many students are educated in the formalized organization, and those who find their dream job earlier than the others have lack of opportunity to do activities aligned with their career plan and to gain feedback from other professionals. Consequently, their lack of opportunity related with their career easily discourage them to achieve their career goals. Conversely, if students gain fame and recognition at young age, it will encourage them a lot and help them to move future with more ambitious and long-term pursuits.
Moreover, there are jobs in which those who start at young age have advantages. In some fields, young age itself has advantageous owing to one's physical performance or their appearance. For example, professional gamers are all young because the younger they are, the better they play. Also, players in most sports start their career before they even get into college whose performances are the best when they are young enough. In addition, many singers and performers are also start their career at young ages because people generally are more favor of young performers.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 478, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'started'.
Suggestion: started
...n, many singers and performers are also start their career at young ages because peop...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, conversely, however, if, moreover, so, still, for example, in addition, such as, in some cases, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1731.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 341.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07624633431 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6140565731 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.571847507331 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 534.6 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4949223178 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.4 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7333333333 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.45110844103 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294055477908 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111343782363 0.076458572812 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.202270951079 0.0737576698707 274% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21224479585 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.215614601727 0.0645574589148 334% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.