Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In contemporary society, much ink has been spilled on the topic that whether it is more important for employees to gain the ability to relate well to people than studying hard in school for a better career. Some claims that the ability of relating other people well is much more important, while others standing at the opposite point insist that the importance of studying well in school is greater than learning how to get close to other. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the latter one.
To begin with, there is no denying fact that most of company which manage to hiring new graduated students pay their attention on the ability of certain area, fitting to the position well. Because company need fresh man to get familiar with work and make profit as soon as possible, requiring those who have good ability of working. Consequently, the only way students can get well-developed ability is to study hard in school. Take my brother, Andy, for instance. He used to major in biology and chemistry, dreaming to develop new medicine. He did great job as a student in college and got most of his courses A rank. Moreover, he was passionate about attending internship of famous lab and company which help him gain a lot of experience in developing medicine. After he graduated from college, he received an offer from the most famous medicine company and got 300 thousand dollar for bonus. What surprise me most is that there were about 3000 competitors and only 120 were hired. The above example proves that studying hard can be beneficial to success of future career.
Secondly, as we all know, the dilemma we have to face after we get a position in a company is that whether can we get promotion. As a fresh man in the company, most of work we need to do is fundamental and basic. In the meanwhile, fresh man don't get much salary. So in order to get more money and fulfill our own propose in career, we have to work well and get the opportunity to promotion. As for get promotion, I guess, the most significant part your boss consider is your performance during working. Working performance mostly base on the ability you have and what you learned from your student career. Consequently, it is more important for student to study hard rather than learn to get well with other. According to a survey done by Xinhua News Agency, the biggest official media in China, there are about 80% of employee in the survey rank the ability learned from college at the first place which is essential to promotion. And 54 percent of them reckon they are benefit from studying hard in college during promotion. As the data shows, studying hard in school do help further job career.
On the other side, Spending time in get the ability to get well with others in college is unnecessary. The most important reason is that this kind of ability cannot guarantee a job after graduate. Because, there is only little chance that you can get in touch with those who are responsible for hiring. Even you can get chance to build a relationship with them, most of them will threat everyone the same, which means the ability you gain costing most of your studying time cannot help you to get a good job. However, if you spend your time at studying rather than relating with others, consequence may be different.
In brief, the discussion above vividly show that studying hard is much more important than get the ability to get well with others in college. Because learning well will significantly improve the chance you get a good job and have a great promotion, which cannot be offered by relating to others.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 241, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... and basic. In the meanwhile, fresh man dont get much salary. So in order to get mor...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, while, as for, for instance, i guess, in brief, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 10.4613686534 239% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 5.04856512141 257% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 12.0772626932 141% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 22.412803532 232% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 97.0 30.3222958057 320% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 15.0 5.01324503311 299% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2964.0 1373.03311258 216% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 635.0 270.72406181 235% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.66771653543 5.08290768461 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.01988110783 4.04702891845 124% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50840190244 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 145.348785872 191% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437795275591 0.540411800872 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 934.2 419.366225166 223% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 3.25607064018 246% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 1.25165562914 799% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 2.5761589404 272% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 13.0662251656 230% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5218133755 49.2860985944 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.8 110.228320801 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1666666667 21.698381199 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9 7.06452816374 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 26.0 4.33554083885 600% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 4.45695364238 22% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.314098495573 0.272083759551 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0924084807164 0.0996497079465 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0796489132257 0.0662205650399 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207946488333 0.162205337803 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.062584500554 0.0443174109184 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 13.3589403974 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 53.8541721854 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.2367328918 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.42419426049 90% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 63.6247240618 184% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.