Integrated Writing Task
The reading and the lecture discuss the problem of storing patients' medical records in the electronic databases rather than traditional paper-based record forms. The reading suggests three advantages to support the efficiency of electronic medical record system. However, bringing rational arguments, the lecturer believes none of the benefits proves electronic medical system
's efficiency.
First, the reading argues that electronic records are economically efficient since they can be easily transferred and duplicated. Moreover, they do not take up any space and so they do not have any storing expenses. In contrast, the speaker states that doctors need to keep patients' records as emergency back up so they have to pay storage costs even if the electronic versions are available. So
Second, the reading asserts that electronic format prevents handwriting errors and by this means reduces possibility of errors in keeping records. Conversely, the speaker states that records are entered by office staff and doctors still use the pen and paper examining the patients so this method can still lead to some errors.
Third, the reading states that electronic medical records can contribute to research since electronic medical databases have a specific format and can be accessed from any location. The professor disagrees by underlining the fact that medical records are subject to strict privacy laws. He adds that researchers have to obtain many permissions including patient's to access these records and patients can easily block any use of their own records.
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- In the past young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. 66
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to learn about a foreign country is to read newspaper and magazines from that country. 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 395, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he electronic versions are available. So Second, the reading asserts that electro...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, conversely, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, still, third, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 22.412803532 71% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 30.3222958057 79% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1329.0 1373.03311258 97% => OK
No of words: 241.0 270.72406181 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.51452282158 5.08290768461 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.94007293032 4.04702891845 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7224028128 2.5805825403 105% => OK
Unique words: 132.0 145.348785872 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547717842324 0.540411800872 101% => OK
syllable_count: 414.9 419.366225166 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 13.0662251656 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.5690620321 49.2860985944 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.818181818 110.228320801 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9090909091 21.698381199 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.63636363636 7.06452816374 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 4.33554083885 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.272083759551 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0996497079465 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0662205650399 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.162205337803 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.3589403974 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.0289183223 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.2367328918 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.2 8.42419426049 109% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 63.6247240618 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.7273730684 98% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.