TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt

The reading passage and the lecture are discussing about the various questions associated with the Rembrandt's painting known as Portrait of an Elderly Woman in a White Bonnet. The passage states three problems associated with the painting, which resulted in the removal of the painting from the Rembrandt's official painting catalog. However the lecture states that all the reasonings are based on unwarranted assumptions and the painting indeed belongs to Rembrandt.

Firstly, the passage posits that the style of the woman's dress in which she is wearing luxurious fur collared coat over a basic white linen is not really Rembrandt's style; as he is known for attention to details. The professor refutes this point by saying that the fur collar wasn't actually an element of the original painting as evidenced by the latest x-ray analysis. The collar was added later in order to increase its value and looks.

Secondly, the passage claims that in the painting the light and shadow elements do not really match Rembrandt's style. In the painting even though there is a black fur around the lady's neck, her face seems to be illuminated. The lecture rejects this argument by saying that in the original painting the light collared coat was used which indeed reflected light, which accounts for the lack of shadows in the painting. But later was replaced by black one as mentioned in the above paragraph. So the painting infact fits with Rembrandt's style.

Finally, the reading mentions that the back of the painting reveals that its made up of several pieces of wood glued together, on the other hand there is no painting attributed to Rembrandt as of now in which he uses glued wood pieces. So the painting is really not his. The lecture completely disagrees with this view and goes on to tell us that when the black fur collar was added to the painting the wood pieces were also added to enhance the painting. Also upon close examination of the painting reveals that the wood used in the main panel actually matches with paintings that have been attributed to Rembrandt.

Thus even though the passage tries to pursuade us into believing that painting was not actually Rembrandt's after hearing the lecture it makes sense and make us to believe that it was indeed painting that can be attributed to Rembrandt.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...e Rembrandts official painting catalog. However the lecture states that all the reasoni...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 277, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...his point by saying that the fur collar wasnt actually an element of the original pai...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 457, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ere also added to enhance the painting. Also upon close examination of the painting ...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'look', 'really', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'thus', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.239130434783 0.261695866417 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.195652173913 0.158904122519 123% => OK
Adjectives: 0.048309178744 0.0723426182421 67% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0628019323671 0.0435111971325 144% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0289855072464 0.0277247811725 105% => OK
Prepositions: 0.152173913043 0.128828473217 118% => OK
Participles: 0.0797101449275 0.0370669169778 215% => Less participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.47857353305 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0289855072464 0.0208969081088 139% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00154638098197 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.135265700483 0.128158765124 106% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0024154589372 0.0158828679856 15% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0193236714976 0.0114777025283 168% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2312.0 1645.83664459 140% => OK
No of words: 390.0 271.125827815 144% => OK
Chars per words: 5.92820512821 6.08160592843 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.04852973271 110% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.351282051282 0.374372842146 94% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.276923076923 0.287516216867 96% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.197435897436 0.187439937562 105% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.1 0.113142543107 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47857353305 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 145.348785872 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.539623497131 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.6272095857 53.8517498576 92% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0529801325 123% => OK
Sentence length: 24.375 21.7502111507 112% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.6628940287 49.3711431718 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.5 132.220823453 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.375 21.7502111507 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.875 0.878197800319 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.39072847682 88% => OK
Readability: 52.0673076923 50.5018328374 103% => OK
Elegance: 1.63865546218 1.90840788429 86% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0140266337164 0.549887131256 3% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.126706413385 0.142949733639 89% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0765983293664 0.0787303798458 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.678628023202 0.631733273073 107% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.1678469616 0.139662658121 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00826016565523 0.266732575781 3% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0147634425441 0.103435571967 14% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.517175166495 0.414875509568 125% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0850903082515 0.0530846634433 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0126367550619 0.40443939384 3% => The content is off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0111886771023 0.0528353158467 21% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.26048565121 235% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 3.0 3.49668874172 86% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 3.62251655629 83% => OK
Neutral topic words: 10.0 3.1766004415 315% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 10.2958057395 155% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.