TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt

Essay topics:

TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt

The reading and the lecture are both about a painting which a portrait of a woman. The author of the reading believes that the painting is not a creation of Rembrandt who was one of the best of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters. The lecturer challenges the statement made by the author. He is of the opinion that the painting was painted by Rembrandt.

First of all, the author suggests that there is something anomalous regarding the costume of the women in that particular
painting. It is mentioned that the woman is wearing a white linen cap that the servants used to wear those days and a luxurious fur collar that was used by the aristocrats. He infers that as Rembrandt was known for his meticulous nature, he would not do this kind of severe fault. This argument is challenged by the lecturer. She says that the fur collar was added in the painting a lot later the original painting was created. Furthermore, she argues that as the fur collar was added a lot later, it can not be said that the painting is not painted by Rambrandt.

Secondly, the writer contends that there was a great discrepancy between the light and shadow effect in the painting. The article notes that the surface from where the light is reflected on the face is dark in color and therefore it absorbs light instead of reflecting it. The lecturer, however, rebuts this by asserting that it the fur collar adder later which is responsible for the black color. She elaborates on this by mentioning that the fur collar was preventing the surface below to reflect light as it makes the color black.

Finally, it is stated in the article that the article was painted on a number of woods glued together. The author establishes that Rambrandt used to paint on a single piece of wood and therefore, the painting was not painted by Rambrandt. The lecturer, on the other hand, posits that the extra pieces of wood were added to the frame when the fur collar was painted. She puts forth the idea that as the extra pieces of woods were added after a long time, it can't be claimed that the painting was not of Rambrandt.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...the seventeenth-century Dutch painters. The lecturer challenges the statement made ...
^^^
Line 6, column 203, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: dark
...e the light is reflected on the face is dark in color and therefore it absorbs light instead ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 458, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... woods were added after a long time, it cant be claimed that the painting was not of...
^^^^
Line 8, column 458, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'cants'?
Suggestion: cants
... woods were added after a long time, it cant be claimed that the painting was not of...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, however, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, kind of, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 10.4613686534 277% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 12.0772626932 207% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 41.0 22.412803532 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 30.3222958057 145% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1730.0 1373.03311258 126% => OK
No of words: 374.0 270.72406181 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6256684492 5.08290768461 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.04702891845 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57953081756 2.5805825403 100% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441176470588 0.540411800872 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 522.0 419.366225166 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 3.25607064018 369% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.4452288575 49.2860985944 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1111111111 110.228320801 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7777777778 21.698381199 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05555555556 7.06452816374 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.27373068433 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0328938231082 0.272083759551 12% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0142041245215 0.0996497079465 14% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0341114716592 0.0662205650399 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0225701968523 0.162205337803 14% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0362864314524 0.0443174109184 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 13.3589403974 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 53.8541721854 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.0289183223 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.57 12.2367328918 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.42419426049 92% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 63.6247240618 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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