TOEFL TPO 46 - Integrated Writing Task

According to the reading passage, three possible benefits exist for electronically recording of medical information in the United States. On contrary, the speaker refutes all the claim by explaining that the benefits of the effort are actually uncertain and she opposes all three reasons one by one.
First, the author explains that recording medical information electronically reduces costs. While, the professor posits that the reduction will be unlikely significant. To clarify it, she demonstrates that there will not happen any saving because doctors do not throw the documents of their patients away and use them as emergency backups. Consequently, they will still need some storage to maintain them safe which costs for them.
Second, the text claims that the recording process prevents some errors which happen due to illegible handwriting and transcriptions of data and so on. Conversely, the lecturer states that using electronic records cannot eliminate this kind of errors. She puts her idea forward illustrating that doctors still need to use pen and pencils to take notes about their patients and other staff member need to interpret the notes and submit them electronically. Accordingly, if there were any error in the notes such as illegible handwriting, it will be transferred to the electronic version, too.
Third, the reading posits that the electronic recording helps researchers to easily collect required data about patients. In contrast, the professor explains that it will not necessarily aid researchers. Considering the strict privacy law for getting access to the medical data in the U.S., the researchers need to follow a complicated procedure to access them which will be difficult and exhausting. Additionally, the information can be uncertain, too, because patients would block their information for some specific reasons.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 92, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...formation electronically reduces costs. While, the professor posits that the reductio...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, consequently, conversely, first, if, second, so, still, third, while, in contrast, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 5.04856512141 257% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 12.0772626932 99% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 22.412803532 116% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 30.3222958057 92% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1575.0 1373.03311258 115% => OK
No of words: 285.0 270.72406181 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.52631578947 5.08290768461 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96840031514 2.5805825403 115% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 145.348785872 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575438596491 0.540411800872 106% => OK
syllable_count: 478.8 419.366225166 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.7805203073 49.2860985944 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.5 110.228320801 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3571428571 21.698381199 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.71428571429 7.06452816374 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.371362337643 0.272083759551 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130171222938 0.0996497079465 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104822303352 0.0662205650399 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223307435189 0.162205337803 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0354611086156 0.0443174109184 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 13.3589403974 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 53.8541721854 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.0289183223 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.79 12.2367328918 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 63.6247240618 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.7273730684 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.2008830022 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.