TOEFL TPO 46 - Integrated Writing Task

According to the reading passage, three possible benefits exist for electronically recording of medical information in the United States. On contrary, the speaker refutes all the claim by explaining that the benefits of the effort are actually uncertain and opposes all three reasons one by one.
First, the author explains that recording medical information electronically reduces costs. While, the professor posits that the reduction will be unlikely significant. To clarify it, she disproves the point by adding that there will not happen any saving because doctors do not throw the documents of their patients away and use them as emergency backups. Consequently, physicians still need some storage to maintain the documents safe which costs more for the them.
Second, the text claims that the recording process prevents some errors which happen due to illegible handwriting and transcriptions of data and so on. Conversely, the lecturer repudiates it pointing out that using electronic records cannot eliminate this kind of errors. She puts her idea forward illustrating that doctors still need to use pen and pencils to take notes about their patients and other staff member need to interpret the notes and submit them electronically. Accordingly, any error in the notes such as illegible handwriting will be transferred to the electronic version, too.
Third, the reading posits that the electronic recording helps researchers to easily collect required data about patients. In contrast, the speech-maker explains that the effort will not necessarily aid researchers. Considering the strict privacy law for getting access to the medical data in the U.S., the researchers need to follow a complicated procedure to access them which is too difficult and exhausting. Additionally, the information may be uncertain, too, because patients would block their information for some specific reasons.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 92, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...formation electronically reduces costs. While, the professor posits that the reductio...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 458, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'them'?
Suggestion: the; them
...the documents safe which costs more for the them. Second, the text claims that the reco...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, consequently, conversely, first, if, may, second, so, still, third, while, in contrast, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 10.4613686534 48% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 5.04856512141 218% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 12.0772626932 99% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 22.412803532 98% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 30.3222958057 99% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1614.0 1373.03311258 118% => OK
No of words: 290.0 270.72406181 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56551724138 5.08290768461 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97581212249 2.5805825403 115% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.58275862069 0.540411800872 108% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 419.366225166 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.1869728829 49.2860985944 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.285714286 110.228320801 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7142857143 21.698381199 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.07142857143 7.06452816374 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37116655477 0.272083759551 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127064731636 0.0996497079465 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104971253349 0.0662205650399 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218505463674 0.162205337803 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0280714371591 0.0443174109184 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 13.3589403974 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 53.8541721854 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.0289183223 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.03 12.2367328918 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.2 8.42419426049 109% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 63.6247240618 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.7273730684 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.