TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa
The passage and lecture are both about how they collect medical information about patient in United states. In the passage encourages doctors to use electronic medical record systems instead of traditional paper-based record and gives three of its benefits ,but the lecturer opposes with the passage's points and gives some reasons.
As the passage asserts that Changing into electrical record can help doctors cut costs of storage and transfer their patient's record. Moreover,It is easier accessible and movable the record.While,the lecturer refutes that It doesn't save any budget electrical record has to pay for their storage as well ,and she says they don't throw the papers because they can keep it for their back up.
In the passage posit another benefits which is preventing errors which mostly happen in using traditional paper method like illegible handwriting which can cause serious problem to patient. By using electronic record which has computerized fonts are more proper than hand-writing record. on the other hand, the lecturer opposes this point by saying that there is no way to eliminate hand writing many doctors are still using this method and some doctors who adopt electronic record also take some notes before taking those data into computer.
Finally, the passage gives the last benefit ,which is it can greatly support medical research and It is simple to accumulate a large number of patient's record and take out some needed information. while,the lecturer disagrees with this point by saying that it is difficult for researcher to access these information because of strict law in United states and the process of permission from the patient.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 257, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d record and gives three of its benefits ,but the lecturer opposes with the passag...
^^
Line 3, column 143, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , It
...transfer their patients record. Moreover,It is easier accessible and movable the re...
^^^
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: While
...asier accessible and movable the record.While,the lecturer refutes that It doesnt sav...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 196, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... accessible and movable the record.While,the lecturer refutes that It doesnt save an...
^^^^
Line 3, column 226, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...cord.While,the lecturer refutes that It doesnt save any budget electrical record has t...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 303, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ord has to pay for their storage as well ,and she says they dont throw the papers ...
^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...heir storage as well ,and she says they dont throw the papers because they can keep ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: On
...e more proper than hand-writing record. on the other hand, the lecturer opposes th...
^^
Line 7, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ally, the passage gives the last benefit ,which is it can greatly support medical ...
^^
Line 7, column 126, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...research and It is simple to accumulate a large number of patients record and take out some neede...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...d and take out some needed information. while,the lecturer disagrees with this point ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 203, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... take out some needed information. while,the lecturer disagrees with this point by s...
^^^^
Line 7, column 299, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...t is difficult for researcher to access these information because of strict law in United states ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, moreover, so, still, well, while, as to, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 5.04856512141 79% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 7.30242825607 151% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 22.412803532 103% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 30.3222958057 106% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1413.0 1373.03311258 103% => OK
No of words: 267.0 270.72406181 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29213483146 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04229324003 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56500445425 2.5805825403 99% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 145.348785872 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.580524344569 0.540411800872 107% => OK
syllable_count: 441.9 419.366225166 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.23620309051 61% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 13.0662251656 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 21.2450331126 137% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.6685517534 49.2860985944 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.0 110.228320801 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6666666667 21.698381199 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.11111111111 7.06452816374 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 4.19205298013 310% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.460411521109 0.272083759551 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.20391314802 0.0996497079465 205% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713154831732 0.0662205650399 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.281465982297 0.162205337803 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0211001108571 0.0443174109184 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 13.3589403974 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 53.8541721854 62% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 11.0289183223 143% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.2367328918 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.42419426049 107% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 63.6247240618 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.7273730684 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.498013245 130% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.