TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

Essay topics:

TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The reading claims that electronic medical record system will be used for patient's medical intsteed of traditional paper forms. The author elaborates his viewpoints about electronic advantages by providing three main reasons. Nevertheless, the professor believes that this electronic database consequences effect are really uncertain, and refutes each of the author's reasons.

First, the reading avers that significant amount of costs reduce since electronic medical records don't require a significant of storage space and doctor could access to them from anywhere. However, the professor refutes this idea by stating that reduction of costs are not huge since most of the doctors need to save and keep paper records as emergency backup; so, they must pay as money as past for the storage space.

Furthermore, the article posits that reducing chances of medical errors is one of critical achivements of this system since illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data accur less than past. On the other hand, the lecturer brings up the fact that it couldn't happen since some doctors didn't know about electronic devices; so, hire a person to write this data directly from their handwriting. Therefore, these errors could accur as the pervious option.

Finally, the article asserts that electronic medical records could increase research opportunities by making it easy to draw out beneficial information from the database. Contrary, the lecturer casts doubt on this claim by stating that the various stricts and privecy laws accur by united state which decrease accessable information by the researcher; hence, they must go through long prosedure in order to get some of essential information they need and paper base which only need patient premission was the better way for researcher at all.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...reduce since electronic medical records dont require a significant of storage space ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 261, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...the lecturer brings up the fact that it couldnt happen since some doctors didnt know ab...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 295, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...at it couldnt happen since some doctors didnt know about electronic devices; so, hire...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, nevertheless, really, so, therefore, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 10.4613686534 48% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 22.412803532 98% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 30.3222958057 132% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1527.0 1373.03311258 111% => OK
No of words: 280.0 270.72406181 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.45357142857 5.08290768461 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.04702891845 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71521600599 2.5805825403 105% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 145.348785872 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.614285714286 0.540411800872 114% => OK
syllable_count: 469.8 419.366225166 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 21.2450331126 132% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.6558119419 49.2860985944 164% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.7 110.228320801 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 21.698381199 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3 7.06452816374 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.462940941566 0.272083759551 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.176333805006 0.0996497079465 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129326880798 0.0662205650399 195% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.266084189341 0.162205337803 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0698043632853 0.0443174109184 158% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 13.3589403974 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 53.8541721854 64% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 11.0289183223 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.63 12.2367328918 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.25 8.42419426049 110% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 63.6247240618 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.7273730684 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.498013245 126% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.