TPO1
The article indicates two benefits of shorten the five workdays to four days. This motion would benefit the individual, the companies and the society. First, shorten the work time would make the employees be more efficient and make less mistakes. And this would let them have more leisure time to enjoy with their family. Second, because the employees would be more efficient, companies would make more profit. Third, it'll also solve the problem of unemployment for the whole society.
In the lecture, the man announced three reasons to against the statement in the article.
Firstly, the change of a five days’ workday system to a four days’ workday system wouldn't make the companies to make bigger profit. In fact, the cost would be higher than before, because the company has to spend more on employee training and medical, as well as more space for workers and more computers.
Secondly, companies may not hire more employees, and they would require them to be more productive and more efficient. The company may extend the working time of four days’ employees to get the same output of the five days. So, additional jobs may not be offered, and it would make the working time more unpleasant.
Furthermore, the employees who works four days a week could face more risks than the original five days’ employees. During an economic downturn, these workers would be more vulnerable to lose their jobs.
Sentence: The article indicates two benefits of shorten the five workdays to four days.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and shorten
Sentence: In the lecture, the man announced three reasons to against the statement in the article.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to to and against
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't separate content of reading and lecture. Put them together in one paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 12
No. of Words: 238 250
No. of Characters: 1131 1200
No. of Different Words: 119 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.928 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.752 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.288 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.141 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4