Tpo46

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Tpo46

In this set of material, the lecture and the reading disagree on the merit of the advantages of using electronic medical data records on paper medical information. The reading passage states the reducing of the cost, the limitation of medical errors and the aiding of medical research are good examples of that advantage. In contrary, the professor casts doubt the passage and presents three reasons proving those benefits are uncertain as the following.

First of all, the passage asserts that the usage of electronic databases can help in saving a lot of money of storing paper. He explains that the printed documents need space to store and cost money for transferring the medical records; he believes that the computerized patient information is much easier to duplicate and transport without any storage space. However, the professor challenges this point. His opinion is that it is unlikely and not significant use only electronic information. In fact, the people have to keep the printed or written documents and save then or store them for an emergency record. Which adds a lot of work and space for information.

Secondly, the reading passage claims that it electronic medical records play an essential role in reducing health records error and minimize the probability of human mistakes. While, the lecturer, on the other hand, opposes this idea. He believes that the handwriting information is still needed, and the doctor still uses the pen and the paper to document the information of the patient. Furthermore, he depends on other staff members to print his poor handwriting information in the system which in turn creates a lot of uneasy correction medical errors.

Finally, the reading passage argues that electronic medical databases help with improvement of medical research which makes it easier. Whereas, the lecturer rebuts this argument. He claims that it is very hard and more difficult for the researchers to access those patients' electronic medical records. In facts, those records are private and access them is against the law. Besides, they need to have the patient permission which usually most of them block their information. Otherwise, they would put themselves with several complicated consequences.

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Average: 8 (2 votes)
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casts doubt the passage
casts doubt on the passage

that it electronic medical records play an essential role
that its electronic medical records play an essential role

Sentence: Furthermore, he depends on other staff members to print his poor handwriting information in the system which in turn creates a lot of uneasy correction medical errors.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to correction and medical

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

No. of Words: 356 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 12
No. of Words: 356 250
No. of Characters: 1836 1200
No. of Different Words: 178 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.157 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.68 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.142 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4