Some educationalists argue that non-exam art-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
In many countries practical subjects such as music, drama, art and craft are usually overshadowed by academic subjects such as Math, Physics, or Chemistry … However, some educational experts claim that these art- based subjects should be compelled in secondary school and they will enable students to achieve higher academic result. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this idea.
Admittedly, if these non-exam subjects are compulsory, students will have to study more subjects. As a result, they will have lesser time to study academic subjects, and it may lead to the poor study result. Nevertheless, the irony here is that many students still have a huge amount of leisure time to play computer games. Hence, instead of wasting their leisure time like that, they should spend their time to study these subjects. In addition, not only could they accumulate more useful knowledge in art area, but they also learn more practical skills, which will be helpful to them in the future. For example, if the students learn art, they can apply this skill to draw a mind map or a draft for their job in the future.
On the other hand, it is claimed that because not everyone will become artist or singer, it is not necessary to force all children studying the art-based subjects. Nevertheless, these subjects are not only profitable for people who have desire to work in art field, but also for all children. To specify, thanks to these non-academic subjects, children can enhance their intelligence and creative so that they will reach higher marks in their exams. For example, by dint of studying art, my cousin became more imaginative and he got a better result at his Geometric. Moreover, these subjects also provide children an opportunity to refresh their mind and get rid of all the tension and stress in academic study.
In conclusion, the non-exam art-based subjects should be encouraged to be taught at school as compulsory subjects.
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flaws:
Don't use 'not only...but also...' a lot of times in one essay. One time is enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1566 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.848 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.484 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.091 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5