Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.

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Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.

Some people convince that money has the essential point in the entire life. Buying a lot of product without thinking more about how many money is used is really satisfy them. While others think that it is just secondary thing and not very important, it is only support for better life. Thus, they prefer to save much money in bank for better future. In relate, there are disadvantage and advantage both them.

People, who had been work every time even on the weekend and got overtime, were used their money to make their own happiness. Sometime they spent their money for shopping or travelling. They were not feel guilty to do that because they paid for their hard work, it has normal. Hence, the positive point for this behavior is satisfaction. In fact, when they must pay unpredictable event, sometime they have not enough money. So they get credits from other to buy it. It always happens while they are not good management of money.

On the other hand, people think that it is better for them for saving in bank. The advantage for this act is better future. They think one step ahead about coming event in their life and prepare it well. They also feel that spend a lot of money even though for own satisfaction seems like burning money. However, the disadvantage is dissatisfaction. They work every time to gain more money, they collect money as much as they can without thinking about their leisure time. And sometime they feel stingy to give money to other people who really need it.

In my opinion, I prefer to to make much money than to earn it for satisfaction. Because, I have better future for this act. I do not know well how my life in ten years later, so I should prepare it from now. All I know about my future is related from today. Thus, I decide to save my money to spend it a lot at future, for retiring day.

In conclusion, making a lot of money obtain satisfaction but also get disadvantage like pay for credit. But, earning money for comfortable living is also make a dissatisfaction for people who do that. In contrast, sometime people do that because they prepare for better living.

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Average: 6.2 (5 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: They also feel that spend a lot of money even though for own satisfaction seems like burning money.
Description: The fragment that spend a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with spending

Sentence: In conclusion, making a lot of money obtain satisfaction but also get disadvantage like pay for credit.
Description: The fragment money obtain satisfaction is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace obtain with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.037 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.607 7.5

The essay is a little out of topic. Read a good one:
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-essays/many-people-believe-it-important-ma…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1680 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.433 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.315 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.037 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.607 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5