SOP

Essay topics:

SOP

Statement of Purpose
Kambiz Sadeghi
Department of Packaging Science

In order to have effective role in this competitive world, I should be specialized in a specific field. Although I have studied Master of Food Science and Technology, my strong desire to study and research more in the field of Packaging, I have decided to pursue my education towards second Master degree in this field. I believe that I will be a successful person in this way because I have learned to use my talents and capabilities in a right way and work hard which are, in my belief, the most important tools in achieving goals. My background can represent these points clearly.

I was born in the February of 1988 in Divandareh, a western city in Iran is located in mountain region. During my childhood, I was always encouraged by my parents to experience and explore the unknown; an attitude that later became part of my personality. Although I used to study at a small and non-advanced city, I decided to pursue my study diligently to deal my academic problems and shortages. I believe that I was be a successful person in this way because I could enter to university through a nationwide entrance exam and get governmental partial funding for bachelor study (Among more than 500000 participants).

My period of education as a B.S. student was at the Food Science and Technology Department, here in University of Zabol in 2011. The University of Zabol has one of the most prestigious food science programs in Iran. My tendency towards Food Science was initially developed by taking variety of courses, and I took internship in Shafagh flour production, Pakara dairy production and Iranian national standard organization. By admitting through another nationwide exam and ranked top 2 % among participants in the nationwide university entrance exam my master period was started. I have finished Master of Food Science and Technology in Isfahan University of Technology through get governmental partial funding (Iranian third ranked university). My thesis was about packaging field entitled physical properties and antimicrobial effect of nanocomposite containing Ethylene Vinyl Alcohol/chitosan and zinc nanoparticles under Professor Mohammad Shahedi's supervision. I could get partial research grant from Iranian Nanotechnology Intuitive Council to cover my thesis's consumables. Finally, I have published one paper at an international journal (Journal of Food Measurement and Characteristics), and have submitted second paper to another international journal (International Food Research Journal) that is under revising. Also, I have already published two papers in the national conference.

One of the most problematic issue in the world is Packaging since it harms the industry millions of dollars each year. Some agricultural products are sent to foreign countries for packaging, or some of the prepared foodstuffs may be spoiled owing to the lack of the proportionate packaging strategies. My study in this field guarantees my position as a professional researcher in both industry and academic environment. Being in the industry setting provides an opportunity to view packaging problems in a different perspective owing to experience various of industrial internships. Take the profitable industry of pistachio, saffron and citrus as examples at Iran: although Iran is the top ranked to produce them, most of these products are sent to foreigner countries just because of lack of knowledge in packaging since it makes a potential to return millions of dollars to my country. Specially, I am interested to make clever solutions for improving packaging materials and preparing environment-friendly polymers by researching in interdisciplinary science, like packaging, nanotechnology and bio-based polymers science. Take the advantage by-products and wasted materials to make biodegradable polymers with adding nanoparticles to their matrix is one of my ideas for preparing excellent packaging materials which are compatible with any commodity. Nanotechnology improves matrix resistant, flexibility and antimicrobial properties, also bio-based polymers are really cost effective and compatible with natural. My intention for applying the Master program at the Rochester Institute of Technology is due to its outstanding role in packaging science as well as its honorable faculty, high of quality and strong research facilities, where I can combine theory with technology to deal with challenging packaging problems. Not only private institutes, but also governmental organizations are seeking prestigious students from this field so they encourage me to continue my Master study at the Rochester Institute of Technology under Professor Changfeng Ge supervision. I hope I will be able to take this opportunity, which will be a great honor for me.

Although my study at Rochester Institute of Technology does not thing on getting finical aid, it would be of great help if I get some financial aid. I will be able efficiently assist graduate both its research and teaching activities and some form of financial aid would be immense help, in a way of reducing burden on my parents. Give a chance, I am confident that my potential will be reflected in my graduate or and I will be able to contribute significantly to the research in this university and live up to high standards of Professor Ge graduate program.

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a western city in Iran is located in mountain region
a western city in Iran which is located in a mountain region

I believe that I was be a successful person
I believe that I will be a successful person

One of the most problematic issue
One of the most problematic issues

although Iran is the top ranked to produce them
although Iran is top ranked to produce them

Although my study at Rochester Institute of Technology does not thing on getting finical aid,
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: I have finished Master of Food Science and Technology in Isfahan University of Technology through get governmental partial funding Iranian third ranked university.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to through and get

flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 841 350
No. of Characters: 4470 1500
No. of Different Words: 379 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.385 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.315 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.197 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 352 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 305 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 228 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 168 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.281 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.456 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.281 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5