The Board of Directors of Monarch Books recommends to open a cafe in its store. The directors see this new cafe will attract more customers. While it may seem convincing at first glance, the directors fail to make a cogent case of the recommendation. In order to strengthen their recommendation, they need to answer several questions.
First of all, they should answer about whether the decision of replacing the children's book section with the cafe is reasonable. In the basis of given information, it is not clear that the space is enough large for the cafe. It is entirely possible that the space is suitable for a book section, but not for a cafe. Generally, cafes demand larger space than book sections, so there is a high possibility that the plan to make a cafe within the store itself is not viable at all. Moreover, as the directors said, one of the strong points of Monarch Books is its wide selection of books on all subjects. Of course, even if just one section of books disappears, there would be no immediate and visible effect on the store. However, it may not be the optimal decision in the long run, since it would undercut the Monarch's competiveness.
Second, the board also need to answer whether the population under age ten will actually decrease in this region and it has a substantial impact on the book market. The board's expectation regarding the decline of children population is thoroughly based on the recent national census, but it can hardly be considered to be plausible in this region. We do not know the populations proportion in this region, thus it is impossible to precisely predict the future change in the region's demography. It is plausible that numerous young couples reside now in this region, or a lot of families are planning to move into the region. Furthermore, even though the decline in the percentage of the population under age ten would occur indeed, it cannot be simply justified to eliminate the children's book section without the exact data including the proportion of book sales according to the ages.
Lastly, it is also obscure whether a new cafe will attract more customers and allow better compete with Regal Books. It could be possible that Regal Books does not profit at all from its own cafe, thus planning to close the cafe. The cafe itself may be profitable, but it is dubious that the cafe visitors would visit the bookstore too. Even if opening a cafe were surprisingly successful to Regal Books, it does not necessarily guarantee the same success in Monarch. Thus, before opening the cafe, the board should reconsider the recommendation and survey its cafe visitors whether they are interested in using cafe in the bookstore.
To sum up, while there are a lot of lacunae, sound evidence and data should be added to the recommendation.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2271 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.712 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.653 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.543 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'boards'' or 'board's'?
Suggestion: boards'; board's
...stantial impact on the book market. The boards expectation regarding the decline of ch...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 476, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'regions'' or 'region's'?
Suggestion: regions'; region's
...cisely predict the future change in the regions demography. It is plausible that numero...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 637, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...erested in using cafe in the bookstore. To sum up, while there are a lot of lacu...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, then, thus, while, of course, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2329.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 482.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83195020747 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73833850858 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483402489627 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 736.2 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.7789588783 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.863636364 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9090909091 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.95454545455 5.70786347227 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207166609651 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0731488907625 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100377084095 0.0701772020484 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114541922011 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.08688179951 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.