The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The recommendation assumes that Book and Bean has a better business model acting as a threat to Monarch Books and population under age of 10 will not increase in the near future. It can also be inferred from the recommendation that Monarch Books has been a monopoly over the past twenty years in Collegeville. These assumptions and inferences indicate a tone of apprehension and fear on part of the business manager.
On the contrary, the recommendation also states its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects as the reasons for its large customer base. This line of reasoning cannot be justified unless a thorough survey is conducted towards knowing the reasons for having such a customer base. Since Monarch Books has been a monopoly, the residents of Collegeville might have had no other option than to prefer the only book store in town. We also do not know the preferences of the town. Does the town prefer reading physical books by visiting the local store or does it prefer online reading? Also, is the population aging, in which case we can assume that physical book reading is preferred more. In addition to these, another pertinent question to be asked is: are online deliveries not available at the town prompting them to prefer Monarch Books instead?
The recommendations mention of national census data does not forebode the future picture. So Monarch Books did not take into account the possibility of increase in population in the future due to factors like migration or increased sperm count. Discounting such possibilities might affect its prospective business. Moreover, a prospective profit making space would be taken over by a café which would be a new domain altogether for the manager to oversee. This can be an added burden diverting the focus and energy of the business away from books, its main source of business. Also pertinent is whether the residents of the town prefer reading their books over a cup of coffee is a question to be answered. Was any study done to such effect? Are there any cafeterias in the town? Is so, why would the residents prefer visiting these cafes?
In addition, the business manager should have also considered the affect of having a café within the store. Would having a café really make a big difference? Has Book and Bean been successful in implementing such a model somewhere else too? Or is it the firm’s first venture? If it is so, the business manager should have a wait and watch approach rather than rushing into a decision. Above all, he seems confident of his customer base due to its atmosphere and selection of books. If at all the existing customers are attracted by the store’s positive attributes it would be wise for the business manager to hold his plans.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2250 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.077 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.237 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.423 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...rom books, its main source of business. Also pertinent is whether the residents of t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, really, so, in addition, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2307.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9085106383 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8004146689 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 739.8 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.2639809157 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.7307692308 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0769230769 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.76923076923 5.70786347227 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.67664670659 342% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325498366193 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0786748654769 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0914793226722 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195176405277 0.128457276422 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0483159415882 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.