People who are the most deeply committed to an
idea or policy are also the most critical of it.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to
which you agree or disagree with the statement and
explain your reasoning for the position you take. In
developing and supporting your position, you shouldconsider ways in which the statement might or might
not hold true and explain how these considerations
shape your position.
The speaker asserts hat people who are the most deeply committed to an idea or policy are also the most critical of it. This statement raises valid points in some aspects, while under most circumstances, it is too extreme since there are also many people support the opinions they insist on.
For starters, it is true that some people may be most critical of the ideas they insist on because these rational beings would evaluate their own views from all possible angles before reaching a firm commitment. For instance, in education area, John Dewey, an educationist who was an entire advocate of the quality education, found that his uncritical support might not hold water in eastern Asia after he had been to this region for a deeper investigation. Because the students there are fully adopted to the exam- oriented education due to the rigid form of examination, while the entire quality education might be improper there. Consequently, John Dewey reconsidered his opinion and then transformed his former idea to another one which combined these two forms of education. It can also be said for the biologic, the change of the attitudes to clone can be taken as a good example. When clone was first introduced, the biologists regarded this technology as treasure. Nevertheless, when they received condemnation on morality, they discovered that this technology may bring about many daunting troubles, so they eventually discontinued the research on it. Both of the aforementioned examples demonstrate that the statement mentioned in the beginning of this passage is tenable to some extent.
However, we should avoid taking it to the extreme. People may maintain the ideas they are most committed to as long as the validity of the opinions has been proved. In the technical area, Steve Jobs, the tycoon who established the Apple business, fully devoted himself to the innovation of iPhone and can be seen as the precursor of the most advanced technology of smart phones. Certainly, he has always unflinchingly supported his idea no matter how unrealistic it seemed to be initially. There are many similar examples in the science area as well. For instance, Tu Youyou, an outstanding scientist who was the laureate of the Nobel Prize, committed herself to the research for several years and discovered artemisinin which can be used to treat malaria, is the proponent of her idea all the time. Therefore, people will support the ideas they insist on if the ideas are substantiated.
Overall, the statement is convincing under certain circumstances, while it may be far-fetched when it is taken to the extreme.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, well, while, for instance, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 14.8657303371 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2194.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 429.0 442.535393258 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11421911422 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86232659485 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526806526807 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 704.065955056 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1872509476 60.3974514979 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.888888889 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8333333333 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.21951772744 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211010837143 0.243740707755 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0692238454497 0.0831039109588 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0841146939429 0.0758088955206 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142982731029 0.150359130593 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0939046379363 0.0667264976115 141% => OK
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.8420337079 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.