the following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, rising our rental prices in not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other 9 Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The first question is needed to answer is that why making the profit of the company has fallen? This is the key to solve the problem. The writer does not imply to this. Why as soon as the business is plummeting, they decide to reduce working hours, and in general, cut their current expenditures? Is it not any other solutions to this problem? Whether other competitors struggling with this situation or is this only happened for his company? Should he consider a little increase in prices, but still adhere to his main strategy, which is the special bargaining? If the stores close at 6 PM how many customers he will lose? All of these questions as well as myriad number of unstated questions should be respond to make a strategic decision for this issue.
For solving a problem, there are steps need to be taken to figure out and tackle the issue. First, analyze the market state. The owner of Movies Galore should consult with experts and see why this happened to his company. Maybe, his staff are not trained enough to treat well with customers, and despite their cheap prices, customers would rather to rent movies from other suppliers in the market. A survey from customers sounds reasonable. They can analyze and find the problem. Second, they need to design a strategy to acquire their market position back, otherwise they will lose and become eliminated from the market. It casts light on the problem, therefore, they would step forward audaciously, because it is based on reasons and facts derived from an empirical study.
Considering closing at 6 PM sound ridiculous as many people at that time finish their works and go home, take a shower and go out to spend some time and maybe rent a movie at a reasonable price! This may reduce the current expenses somewhat, but definitely, a store which closes at 6PM will lose many of its customers and ruins its brand reputation among people. They also should do watchdog other activists in the market and be informed about their profit-making. If others are increasing their prices, there is no need to close branches earlier, they can increase their prices too but keep the prices as low as possible.
However, the strategy that the owner of movie Galore recommends sounds smart. As movie making industry is a vibrant market and myriad of movies releasing every year, it sounds reasonable to clear the stock of movies older than 5 years, and reduce the warehouse expenses. He is worry about the reputation of the company, so he shouldn’t adopt most of his recommendations. Instead, he can use the recommendations in the essay to make his place better. Furthermore, he needs to know that two mind better than one, consulting with experts should not be forget about. So, he should draw an analogy between his recommendations and those of provided by the essay to evaluate his thoughts. Clearly, many of his thoughts are impractical and would hurt his company’s reputation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 503 350
No. of Characters: 2364 1500
No. of Different Words: 256 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.736 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.497 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.964 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.25 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.407 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 705, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'responded'?
Suggestion: responded
... number of unstated questions should be respond to make a strategic decision for this i...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 278, Rule ID: I_AM_WORRY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'worried'?
Suggestion: worried
...nd reduce the warehouse expenses. He is worry about the reputation of the company, so...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, still, therefore, well, in general, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2447.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87450199203 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66745192218 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521912350598 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 746.1 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 65.9045325255 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.6296296296 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5925925926 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96296296296 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0787500688041 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0215554348822 0.0743258471296 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0370878459954 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0507086945505 0.128457276422 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0221678210397 0.0628817314937 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.3799401198 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.