The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movie Galore's ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for your special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument is clearly stating that the movies Galore rental store has reduced its operation cost in one of its stores which is in downtown Marston.but there is no enough information provided that the operational cost of all the stores is going to be reduced.This strategy might be useful for only particular area but not for all areas where the store is present.
The evidence required to change in strategy for the whole chain of movies can not only be depend on one outcome.if there are very few people who would rent and watch movies after 6pm in the region of Marston then the rental store would have a less operational cost but if in some other regions where people are only renting between 6pm and 9pm only then the store would get into more loses.We cant totally accept the evidence provided.
there might other factors which might reduce the operational cost in the store which the stratergy might be tested.For example the store present in marston had less rent to be paid for the building and there other stores might have a higher rent to pay then the operational cost of that particular store might higher compared to the store in marston.there is no proper evidence stating that the only factor of reducing operational cost is by changing the closing time from 9pm to 6pm.
By reducing the inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago might be effective only where people are ready to watch only new and 5 year ago movies but if there is a store present in a place where there are more number of senior citizens,they would most likely to rent a older movie which might be older then 5 years old.then the store might lose its sales also and get into loses.Hence the author doe not provide required information to support this argument.
The proper strategies to increase profits would be that the stores in each region takes a survey about the requirements of there customers and according decide the steps to be taken and which might not mislead the whole chain into having the same strategy for whole chain.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 5 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1677 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.569 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.25 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 73.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.957 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.585 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 1 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 261, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...f all the stores is going to be reduced.This strategy might be useful for only parti...
^^^^
Line 4, column 44, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... evidence required to change in strategy for the whole chain of movies can not on...
^^
Line 4, column 350, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re only renting between 6pm and 9pm only then the store would get into more loses...
^^
Line 4, column 393, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: We
...hen the store would get into more loses.We cant totally accept the evidence provid...
^^
Line 4, column 396, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... the store would get into more loses.We cant totally accept the evidence provided. ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...ally accept the evidence provided. there might other factors which might reduce ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 116, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...ore which the stratergy might be tested.For example the store present in marston ha...
^^^
Line 10, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...there are more number of senior citizens,they would most likely to rent a older movie...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 299, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...citizens,they would most likely to rent a older movie which might be older then 5...
^
Line 10, column 328, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'older than'?
Suggestion: older than
...ly to rent a older movie which might be older then 5 years old.then the store might lose i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 334, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...rent a older movie which might be older then 5 years old.then the store might lose i...
^^^^
Line 10, column 411, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
... lose its sales also and get into loses.Hence the author doe not provide required inf...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 411, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... lose its sales also and get into loses.Hence the author doe not provide required inf...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, so, then, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1711.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 362.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72651933702 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38272279272 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.439226519337 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 541.8 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 72.0 22.8473053892 315% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.9790217068 57.8364921388 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 342.2 119.503703932 286% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 72.4 23.324526521 310% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 8.6 5.70786347227 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.077029139994 0.218282227539 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0519124516074 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0205630435527 0.0701772020484 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0519124516074 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0205630435527 0.0628817314937 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 37.0 14.3799401198 257% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 6.86 48.3550499002 14% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 30.2 12.197005988 248% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.34 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.96 8.32208582834 120% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 12.3882235529 226% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 30.8 11.1389221557 277% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 11.9071856287 260% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.