Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
The modern world is full of chaos and violence. The total entropy of the world tends to increase everyday. The prompt suggests that, while some people attribute social violence to the violence shown in the media, some people think that violence originates from the environment where children are brought up. Personally, I both agree and disagree to both of the views to some extent.
A child's mind is very sensitive. He learns what he sees around him. All the things that happen around him shape his moral characteristics. A child is most likely to be found among the midst of his parents for a good amount of time in his childhood. His parents and peer groups' behavior have a great impact on learning social manners. For instance, if a child comes from a cultural minded family, he will be inclined to get involved in cultural activities in the future. He may become a singer or dancer based upon his choice. On the contrary, children who come from a gangster family are more prone to crime and violence. From the very beginning of their life, they are accustomed to unethical and violent activities. These events leave behind a scare in the minds of children which eventually leads them to become violent in the future.
However, in today's world, most of the parent work outside leaving their children in a safety home, the place where other children whose parents are outside worker also happen to stay for a fair amount of time. In the safety homes, children normally spend time playing with other kids and watching television. Playing and doing other things with a bunch of other kids may teach them group works, leadership and other types of qualities but most of the time they watch restive media shows where violence is shown as if it were a part and parcel of daily life. This kind of violence in disguise of exciting action movies or programs often leads the children to a path of destruction. Children start to think that being violent is very normal and this isn't any kind of fault which often lead them to be violent in their personal and social life.
All the points above are responsible to make a child reckless and prone to violence. However, if the parents and relatives as well as neighbors are chary about their children, this adherence to violence can be reduced to a great extent. I want to conclude my opinion telling that no other people other than the parents of a child are capable of shaping their child's behavior in the most efficient way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... entropy of the world tends to increase everyday. The prompt suggests that, while some p...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 108, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...f the world tends to increase everyday. The prompt suggests that, while some people...
^^^
Line 7, column 777, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... behind a scare in the minds of children which eventually leads them to become vi...
^^
Line 13, column 749, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...t being violent is very normal and this isnt any kind of fault which often lead them...
^^^^
Line 17, column 403, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lds behavior in the most efficient way.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, well, while, for instance, kind of, as well as, on the contrary, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 33.0505617978 103% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2055.0 2235.4752809 92% => OK
No of words: 434.0 442.535393258 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73502304147 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39742640758 2.79657885939 86% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 215.323595506 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504608294931 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 632.7 704.065955056 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.9233209046 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.4090909091 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7272727273 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22727272727 5.21951772744 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226018035971 0.243740707755 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561048066952 0.0831039109588 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591873332915 0.0758088955206 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141856512033 0.150359130593 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0568351066137 0.0667264976115 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.1639044944 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.34 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 100.480337079 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.