TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 12

In this set of material, the author is convinced that a late full portrait presented to sell by one of Austen's family member is an original one for Jane Austin, one of the most famous of English novelist. The text provide three arguments to support his opinion. However, the professor asserts that the text's arguments are questionable, loos and hard to proof.

First, the reading stated that several decades ago Austin's family had gave permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letter. On the other hand, the professor believes that this public event when the portrait was given the permission was at 1882 almost 70 years after Austin's death. He added that the family member who gave the permission might not even meet Jane at all.

Second, the text explains that because there are a lot of similarity between the portrait and Jane's sister Cassandra sketch, the portrait might hold a real Jane Austin features. However, the professor contends that even though the portrait might resemble the sketch by Cassandra it still could be for one of Austin's extended family. He added that at that specific time many girls were a teenagers and they could resemble Austin. He goes farther to claim that there are some evident that the sketch could be for a distant niece for Austin.

Finally, the text affirms that even though the portrait is neither signed nor dated, there are some evident to link the portrait to Ozias Humphery a famous portrait painter. On th other hand, the professor affirms that it is not fair to link the portrait to Humphrey just because the style of the portrait is a resemble to Humphry style. He added that there are a mark on the back of the canvas that canvas was sold by a seller who is known to sell in London, that seller was not able to sell canvas at the period of time when Austin was a teenager instead he started to sell canvas when Austin was about 21 years old.

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Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

one of the most famous of English novelist.
one of the most famous English novelists.

The text provide three arguments
The text provides three arguments

Austin's family had gave permission to use the portrait
Austin's family had given the permission to use the portrait

Sentence: However, the professor asserts that the text's arguments are questionable, loos and hard to proof.
Error: loos Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: On th other hand, the professor affirms that it is not fair to link the portrait to Humphrey just because the style of the portrait is a resemble to Humphry style.
Error: th Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

No. of Words: 342 250
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 12
No. of Words: 342 250
No. of Characters: 1556 1200
No. of Different Words: 159 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.55 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.248 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.796 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.605 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.205 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4