The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

The arguement stated by the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company (SSMPC) that allocating a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising will increase its viewership based on the reasons mentioned might be true but, in order to concrete his arguement, there is need to answer some of the loop holes mentioned in the reasons mentioned behind the arguement

In one of the reasons stated, it says that the "percentage" of the positive reviews for the movies produced by SSMPC has increased. But, it fails to state what was the intial percent of the positive percentage a year ago and what is the percentage now after a year. What if the initial percentage was only 10%, meaning out of 100 reviews in total for 3 movies only 10 reviews were positive, and now it has become 20%, indicating the movies produced by SSMPC had dominance of bad reviews over positive review a year ago and also in the present time, indicating the qualities of the movies is still bad. This particular questions needs to answered by the director of SSMPC

The arguement also doen't clarify on the current state of movie industry. If the movie produced by the other production companies is proving to be good. What if the craze among the people have chnged from consuming movies to reading books, or is there any trouble in the process of reaching the movies to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type of content the people wants to consume and if the SSMPC is producing that particular type of content or not. What if the report published by the marketing department in itself is suceptible to some flaws and is not reliable.

Above mentioned questions needs to considered and answered before stating the arguement of increasing the advertising budget for increased veiwship.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... his arguement, there is need to answer some of the loop holes mentioned in the reasons men...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 74, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...on the current state of movie industry. If the movie produced by the other product...
^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: As well
...ovies to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type...
^^^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ovies to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type...
^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type of con...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, still, in the first place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.3162921348 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 33.0505617978 33% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1546.0 2235.4752809 69% => OK
No of words: 318.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86163522013 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74385440506 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 215.323595506 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481132075472 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 477.0 704.065955056 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.2370786517 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 23.0359550562 152% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 142.949701937 60.3974514979 237% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 171.777777778 118.986275619 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.3333333333 23.4991977007 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.21951772744 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0648210523757 0.243740707755 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0280595580679 0.0831039109588 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0219095765191 0.0758088955206 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0426860409238 0.150359130593 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0111455286017 0.0667264976115 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.1 14.1392134831 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.41 48.8420337079 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.1743820225 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.5 12.1639044944 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 100.480337079 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 27.5 11.8971910112 231% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.2143820225 143% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... his arguement, there is need to answer some of the loop holes mentioned in the reasons men...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 74, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...on the current state of movie industry. If the movie produced by the other product...
^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: As well
...ovies to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type...
^^^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ovies to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type...
^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...to the people in the first place. Also. there is no concrete proof on the type of con...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, still, in the first place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.3162921348 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 33.0505617978 33% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1546.0 2235.4752809 69% => OK
No of words: 318.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86163522013 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74385440506 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 215.323595506 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481132075472 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 477.0 704.065955056 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.2370786517 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 23.0359550562 152% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 142.949701937 60.3974514979 237% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 171.777777778 118.986275619 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.3333333333 23.4991977007 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.21951772744 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0648210523757 0.243740707755 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0280595580679 0.0831039109588 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0219095765191 0.0758088955206 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0426860409238 0.150359130593 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0111455286017 0.0667264976115 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.1 14.1392134831 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.41 48.8420337079 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.1743820225 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.5 12.1639044944 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 100.480337079 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 27.5 11.8971910112 231% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.2143820225 143% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.