The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the human-resources department of Capital Bank:"Capital Bank has always required that its employees wear suits at all times while at work. Last month, Capital’s employee absenteeism and attrition rates bo

The argument claims that employees have become to absent and attrite from work recently due to Capital Bank has started to require that its employees must be strictly followed dress code. Also the author suggests that permission and encouragement employees to dress casually every Friday can reverse these trends. And this idea based solely on companies in the software industry which allow their workers to dress casually for work anytime they want. But this reason is simply not enough and comparison two different industries such as Software and Banking can not be reasonable and based only on this factor. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.

First of all, the author makes allegation that the issue of absenteeism and attrition can be fixed by changing company policy towards workers how want to dress casually. However, a high absenteeism can be based on other working condition such as work-life balance, working atmosphere and relationship between employees. While high level of attrition rate can be explained such factors as paltry salary or insignificant benefits to workers. Thus while HR are not able deeply understand sorts of these problems “casual Friday” can not be considered as remedy to Capital Bank. The author can strengthen the argument by pointing out other factors which can influence on absenteeism and attrition rates.

Second, as in confirmation his theory the author assumes that practice of software industry where workers are permitted to wear the casual clothes also can be implied in banking industry. But this approach might be adopted only in IT sphere and can not be applied in finance industry. People working in bank industry have to interact with their clients face to face almost every day and look wealthy and strictly because this industry more conservative than IT. While people from software industry work for clients mostly through computers, and needing less contact with their clients. The evidence for the change is not only weak, there isn’t content with, because just one day on the week is not enough to reduce absenteeism and attrition rates at Capital Bank.

In addition, the author expresses his thought on vague language. He claims that the software industries have high rates of satisfaction by workers due to companies allow them to dress casually. And in addition it is considered that most software company experience lower rates of employee absenteeism and attrition. Having made these two observation parallel, the author admitted illogical meaning what cause error in consistency.

Finally, the statistics cited in memo seem unreliable. In order to strengthen this argument the author have to give an example of appropriate statistic and research evidence. Such procedure as survey of employees and monthly observation of absenteeism and attrition could improve the author point of view.

In conclusion, the argument is weak because of above mentioned reasons and is therefore flawed. It could be considerably strengthened if author mentioned all of the relevant facts. In order to estimate the validity of a argument it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information, the argument is un-substantiated and open to debate.

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Average: 6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 520 350
No. of Characters: 2704 1500
No. of Different Words: 255 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.775 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.2 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 212 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 169 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.563 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.347 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5