The argument claims that Helios is a beneficial region for corporations which pursue to find new business opportunities or a new location. This statement is based on factors such as its rate of unemployment is lower than average and it is the industrial center of the region providing most of its manufacturing jobs. Furthermore, Helios intends to expand its economic base by means attracting companies that focus on their growth. In my opinion, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First of all, it is not explained about business opportunities and locations on which corporations should focus on by the author’s opinion. Today in technologically developing world there are many of business opportunities which company might choose starting from their own strategy and vision of their future. And it cannot be denied that what one company could assess as an opportunity for another it would be misfortune. If the author had denoted what he means by business opportunities and signified for which corporations Helios would be beneficial then it would have been more clear.
Second, lower than average unemployment rate might be evaluated as an insufficient factor for corporations. Because it means that new corporations which want to launch their business in this region face with lack of potential workers. It means companies have to recruit the employees outside the city spending on this program additional capital. The argument could have been much clear if the author had provided justification of unemployment advantages for companies.
Finally, it is not precisely drawn a parallel between companies which is attracted by Helios and companies which should focus on this city. The memo said that Helios wants to boost its economic base through attracting companies that develop their innovative technologies. While the author proposes to focus on this region for companies which seek new business opportunities. Which might doesn’t mean that these companies attend to technology innovation in their business.
In conclusion, the argument is weak because of above mentioned reasons and is therefore flawed. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all of the relevant facts. In order to estimate the validity of an argument it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 2016 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.277 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.025 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 255, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to start'.
Suggestion: to start
...pportunities which company might choose starting from their own strategy and vision of t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 109, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n insufficient factor for corporations. Because it means that new corporations which wa...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 159, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ly strengthened if the author mentioned all of the relevant facts. In order to estimate th...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, if, second, so, then, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2068.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 381.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42782152231 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12854726991 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496062992126 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 642.6 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.7108282085 57.8364921388 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.4 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.05 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179364324848 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0583447303091 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615735906025 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.098726372862 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.06073611253 0.0628817314937 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.21 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.