105. The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing.
"During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. If we shorten each of our work shifts by one hour, we can improve Butler Manufacturing's safety record by ensuring that our employees are adequately rested."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this memo, the vice president of Butler Manufacturing contends that Butler Manufacturing should shorten each of their work shifts by one hour to improve their safety record. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, the lack of evidence leads me to conclude that the argument is invalid on many grounds.
First of all, the vice president needs to provide specific evidence on on-the-job accidents of Butler Manufacturing and Panoply Industries. The vice president assumes that if Butler does not shorten their work shifts, the trend of on-the-job accidents between Butler and Panoply during the past year will be similar this year. However, it is possible that the percentage of on-the-job accidents of the past year is temporary and may not continue in the long run. It should be viewed in the long term.
In addition, the vice president assumes that Butler and Panoply are similar except the work shifts. However, there is no specific evidence that they are not different. Panoply may have better machinery systems or educations for workers to prevent them from accidents compared to Butler. And they could be the crucial variables for their on-the-job accidents. Even the vice president does not mention whether Butler and Panoply are in the same industry. It is possible that Panoply is in the industry which is safer than Butler.
Second, the vice president is based on that it is substantial that Butler workers reported 30 percent more accidents in the workplace than workers at Panoply. Without stating the actual number of on-the-job accidents of both corporations, we can assume the number of 30% is marginal. It is possible, for instance, that if the number of on-the-job accidents of Panoply during the past year was 10, the number of accidents of Butler was only 13.
Even if the differences between the numbers of the accidents of both corporations are substantial, we need to focus on not the number of accidents, but the scale of accidents. Even if there are more on-the-job accidents in Butler than Panoply, the damage of the accident in Butler might be minor and the damage of the accident in Panoply is too huge to easily recover.
Lastly, the vice president assumes that if they shorten their work shifts by one hour, their employees will take adequate rests, but the vice president needs to provide specific evidence whether they will take rests. The employees might spend an hour which is given by early work shifts for playing extreme sports such as soccer, basketball, or drinking. If they engage in these activities, more fatigue and sleep deprivation could be caused. Therefore, although more rests and sleeps can prevent many on-the-job-accidents as the recent government study betrays, there is no specific evidence that the shortening work shifts ensure employees’ rests and improve Butler’s safety record. Also, it is needed detailed information about the recent government study. It is uncertain that the study result can be applied to the Butler case.
In conclusion, the argument is unsound on many grounds. In order to strengthen the argument, the vice president should give more detailed information on Butler.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 518 350
No. of Characters: 2582 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.771 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.72 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.421 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In this memo, the vice president of Butl...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e argument is invalid on many grounds. First of all, the vice president needs t...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...It should be viewed in the long term. In addition, the vice president assumes ...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... industry which is safer than Butler. Second, the vice president is based on t...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r of accidents of Butler was only 13. Even if the differences between the numb...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Panoply is too huge to easily recover. Lastly, the vice president assumes that ...
^^
Line 6, column 716, Rule ID: NEEDS_FIXED[1]
Message: "needed detailed" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try 'detailing' or 'to be detailed'.
Suggestion: detailing; to be detailed
...pos;s safety record. Also, it is needed detailed information about the recent government...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lt can be applied to the Butler case. In conclusion, the argument is unsound o...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, second, so, then, therefore, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2660.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 517.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14506769826 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77380769093 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.400386847195 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 815.4 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2587044529 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.4 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.68 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 6.88822355289 218% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.390733328055 0.218282227539 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113792615896 0.0743258471296 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104711898444 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.205870022173 0.128457276422 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0863534573815 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.