The author claims that it is profitable to start a jazz music club near in the city of Monroe, since jazz music is one significant features of the city. In addition, citing from a nationwide study that that jazz fans have an average spent on jazz entertainment which is about $1,000 per year, and that the nearest jazz music club is far away from the city, the author believes that the business will succeed. However, several assumptions made by the author are unpersuasive, which weakens the article in several aspects.
To begin with, the claiming that over 100,000 people were participated in the annual jazz festival of the city last summer, the author assumes that the number of participants in the following years will be considerable. However, it is unconvincing to extrapolate the number of attendees this year by merely regarding the number of the previous year. The success of the jazz music festival might contribute to a famous jazz musician having a world tour that coincidentally held in Monroe. Hence, the 100,000 attendees are only an outburst, which weakens the statement proposed by the author.
Moreover, even if the large number of attendees is a common phenomenon showing the festival is truly attractive and popular, the statement that a jazz music club will be profitable is untenable. The statement relies on the fallacious assumption that these attendees will be likely to spend their money on the music club. Certainly, high intensity of population might be potential consumers to the music club, yet there is no guarantee that they are likely to stay in a jazz music club. In fact, people might tend to have a picnic with their friends outdoor while enjoying the festival. Besides, to start a new business, the author need to consider the costs such a hiring employees and paying the loan. Especially, when the festival is over, do people in the city truly like to go to a jazz music club anymore? Without taking these costs into consideration, the statement appears to be quixotic.
Finally, the study cited by the author is not strong enough to sustain the statement. Since the study is a nationwide study, and the number is an average number, it is untenable to assumes that every jazz fan in Monroe are able to spend $1,000 per year. The number will fluctuate among different areas and states. In addition, the specific number in the study represents the money spent on jazz entertainment, which is too general. Without pieces of evidence showing the distribution of expense, we can hardly ascertain that the money will be spent in a jazz club.
In sum, though provided evidence and showing statistics, the statements proposed by the author is still unreasonable. Several assumptions made by the author are too optimistic, and that the evidence is insufficient to buttress author's ideas.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2290 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.841 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.65 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.399 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 276, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ent on jazz entertainment which is about ,000 per year, and that the nearest jazz ...
^^
Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ery jazz fan in Monroe are able to spend ,000 per year. The number will fluctuate ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, finally, hence, however, if, incidentally, moreover, regarding, so, still, while, in addition, in fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2356.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98097251586 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74784511912 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452431289641 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8906456628 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.19047619 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5238095238 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2380952381 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257839947064 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.07919236027 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081621921815 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1416251066 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0911640834311 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.