The author in the argument concludes that in order to reduce number of on-the-job accidents in a industry or organization, we should shorten each of or three shifts by one hour so that employees of an organization will get adequate amounts of sleep. The author’s conclusion mainly based on an assumption that significant factors in many on job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Also, since past year, in Quiot manufacturing 30 percent more accidents are noticed than that of Panoply Industries plant in which working period of a worker is less than that of Quiot manufacturing by one hour. The argument consist of many unanswered questions and hence which leads the conclusion to ambiguity. The argument has several serious flaws in it.
Firstly, the author in the argument assumes that correlation proves causality. Although it sometimes applicable, not always to drawn a conclusion of an argument. Moreover, the author predicts that one thing applicable in one organization will prove prolific to other organization or industry irrespective of considering terms and conditions of both organization, and fails to prove compatibility and relationship between two different plants. As a company varies, its infrastructure, pay scale to workers, skills required also varies. The author fails to prove relevant relation between two companies.
Secondly, the author in the argument assumes “because of this, therefore, after this” fallacy in an argument. It may be a case that Quiot manufacturing is an organization that manufacture products such as cement causes fatigue and lung problems due to inhalation of polluted air; which Panoply industry may be a oil plant which does not involve such problem in spite of one hour difference in working period. If this case comes to be true and practical, there is no any effect of reducing one hour in shifts of employees and ultimately, conclusion reach to debacle.
Final but not least, the author says that 30 percent increase in on the job accidents in Quiot industry than that of Panoply industry plant. It may be a possibility that employees enrollment increased in past year in Quiot industry which leads to increase in on the job accidents in company. Many external factors may involve and responsible for fatigue and sleep disorder problems. If this is possible, consequently an argument came with error and ultimately, conclusion,too. The author can include statistic data and curve to represent population density curve for employees in both companies.
In summary, the argument consists of man unanswered questions and uses fallacy such as “because of this, after this, therefore” to draw a conclusion. Moreover, the author fails to determine relation between two different companies and apply wrong analogy correlation proves causality, however it is not always true. The author can make argument well sounding and compelling by rendering cogent evidences such as relation between organisations, amenities, nature of work for employees, factors causes fatigue and sleep disorder problems, last year and today's statistical data for both plant, etc. If these details are considered in an argument, it will definitely remove errors and make conclusion convincing.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2671 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.237 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.904 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 171 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.565 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...educe number of on-the-job accidents in a industry or organization, we should sho...
^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...uted air; which Panoply industry may be a oil plant which does not involve such p...
^
Line 5, column 474, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...omes to be true and practical, there is no any effect of reducing one hour in shif...
^^
Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'employees'' or 'employee's'?
Suggestion: employees'; employee's
...try plant. It may be a possibility that employees enrollment increased in past year in Qu...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 346, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... factors may involve and responsible for fatigue and sleep disorder problems. If ...
^^
Line 7, column 473, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , too
...me with error and ultimately, conclusion,too. The author can include statistic data ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 170, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re' to draw a conclusion. Moreover, the author fails to determine relation b...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, in summary, such as, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2767.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.43614931238 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10036080152 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477406679764 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 867.6 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.7807151983 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.772727273 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1363636364 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68181818182 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 17.0 6.88822355289 247% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205594722166 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.062630771556 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113700124562 0.0701772020484 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130716368587 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0987634461177 0.0628817314937 157% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.57 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 98.500998004 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.