The editorial in a business magazine concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase significantly in the near months. The author assumes that more potential customers would like video games with lifelike graphics, which requires the most high-end computers. To enforce the argument and the conclusion based on argument, the author should contemplate validity of assumptions in this argument.
Firstly, an assumption that should be assessed is that respondents in the cited survey can represent all video players and their preference can stand for that among all. The author must firstly check whether this assumption is right or not. If it is unguaranteed, Whirlwind video games might not sell more increasingly in the next few months because not every video player likes the feature of lifelike graphic. In addition, the sad fact that even if they like, many a video player cannot afford the compatible and sophisticated computers if they now have not up-to-date version of computers. If they want to increase sale, Whirlwind should release questionnaires all over the country and ask random guys what features are the most important in a video game and whether they have high-end computers to play these games. If not, this result in the survey cannot prove the conclusion of this argument.
Secondly, Whirlwind advertised some video games with lifelike graphics targeted from ten to twenty-five years old, and the author assumes that this age-group people are most likely to play video games and buy it the most. Therefore, they buy it and then the sales of Whirlwind video games would amplify. If the assumption is weakened, the result might be indefensible because these age groups might have not spare time to play it or they have no enough money to purchase it. If the Whirlwind proves that these targeted players are willing to buy this video games, the sales might aggrandize. On the contrary, the sales trend might not be reversed as they expected.
Speculating that video games with lifelike graphics are popular among the groups in ten to twenty-five years old, the assumption that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to upsurge is a little bit subjective, causing that it should be meticulously estimated. the prediction of this assumption is that no competitors exist or compete over Whirlwind and other types of video games in Whirlwind also shoot successfully in the market. However, the unfortunate possibilities are that there are numerous video games with strong competitiveness of the reasonable price and more vivid graphics. Unless Whirlwind can guarantee their video games with lifelike graphics is below the average selling price and the storylines of their video games are clear cut and intriguing as well as the living graphics, they might not surely outperform rivals. In addition, if Whirlwind company also introduces other kinds of video games which are always suffering plummeting reduction, Whirlwind video games amount to shrink in selling although video games with lifelike graphics are increasing.
To conclude it, Whirlwind desires to breakthrough for changing tunnels of selling video games, and changing sales strategy is an encouraging step for reversing declining sales. However, if these aforementioned assumptions are not warranted with more proofs and more contemplations, it is not tenable that the sales of Whirlwind video games might surge later on.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 548 350
No. of Characters: 2834 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.838 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.172 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.723 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.936 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 197, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
... video games are likely to upsurge is a little bit subjective, causing that it should be m...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 270, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...at it should be meticulously estimated. the prediction of this assumption is that n...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, in addition, as well as, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2901.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 548.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29379562044 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78347007497 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.432481751825 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 896.4 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3616038229 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.142857143 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0952380952 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.71428571429 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.482039554392 0.218282227539 221% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.168740199982 0.0743258471296 227% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0805219879419 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.289016927127 0.128457276422 225% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0829366967915 0.0628817314937 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.