Dr. Benson is a renowned scientist known for his work in biochemistry and cardiology to establish the link between high blood pressure and heart disease. In a paper published ten years ago, he postulates that consuming salty foods increases the salt content of the blood and puts those individuals at greater risk of heart disease due to high blood pressure. A recent study published by Dr. Benson shows that consuming some salty foods is healthy, but warns that consuming sugary foods can lead to heart disease. At a recent convention, he gave a presentation concluding that high blood pressure is definitely linked to heart disease.
This argument includes two studies of Dr.Benson regarding high blood pressure due to the consumption of a specific type of food. In his earlier paper the reason behind the cardiac risk is salty food and in the recent paper is sugary food due to high blood pressure and he links to this to heart diseases. The argument though seems cogent at the first instance, if exegesis in detail, may fall apart due to presumptions made. The argument is maladjusted to prove the assumption. If relevant pieces of evidence or case papers are provided then it may be unbiased to prejudice the argument.
Firstly, Dr. Benson is a renowned scientist famous for his work in cardiac and biochemistry rating the connection between high blood pressure and heart diseases. He was positing that consuming salty food may increase the high blood pressure but, there is a lack of case studies or surveys which might be helpful to analyze that on which type of age group this statement meant true. so the report of the survey may show the history of patience and their lifestyle with eating habits contributes to their diseases so there is no clear connection between two statements.
Secondly, Dr postulating after ten years that the cause is different and changed which is the consumption of sugary food. sugary food might result in diabetes in patience than high blood pressure. moreover, the doctor hadn't provided any report this research might be done of a very specific age group or modicum people which failed to show the appropriate results. The cause of high blood pressure is maybe related to mental health and stress problems rather than just a diet. additionally, research might be done in a specific geographical area of the region where people are from a very busy and hectic lifestyle.
However, the doctor is connecting or changing his position of consumption of salty food that it is good but, over time conditions might have changed dramatically with all possible parameters. in the end, a doctor is positing a clear connection between heart diseases and blood pressure but it seems very weak unless and until incisive roofs and reports are provided. so there is no clear connection established between heart diseases and high blood pressure.
In totality, there is a dearth of pieces of evidence and case studies to show some relevant data. There should be exegesis analysis done and germane reports must be provided to show a strong connection between consumption of salty, sugary food, and high bold pressure and heart disease. without the study, it is just conjecture to prejudice the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2118 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.858 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.663 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 42, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Benson
...his argument includes two studies of Dr.Benson regarding high blood pressure due to th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 383, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...of age group this statement meant true. so the report of the survey may show the h...
^^
Line 5, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Sugary
...hich is the consumption of sugary food. sugary food might result in diabetes in patien...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...s in patience than high blood pressure. moreover, the doctor hadnt provided any report t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 219, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hadn't
...gh blood pressure. moreover, the doctor hadnt provided any report this research might...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additionally
...tress problems rather than just a diet. additionally, research might be done in a specific g...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 193, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...matically with all possible parameters. in the end, a doctor is positing a clear c...
^^
Line 7, column 368, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...ncisive roofs and reports are provided. so there is no clear connection establishe...
^^
Line 9, column 288, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...d high bold pressure and heart disease. without the study, it is just conjecture to pre...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2168.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 434.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99539170507 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63232889835 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453917050691 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 667.8 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2816261563 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.105263158 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8421052632 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52631578947 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315104698035 0.218282227539 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0960493091548 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101942114565 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169678132154 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0753179182154 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.