“During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
The experts claims that by reducing time of shift the safety incidents of Alta Manufacturing can be bring down . Sated in this way , the argument fails to mention several key factors , reveal several instance of poor terminology and distorts the view of the situation by manipulating facts and providing week comparison with company whose working hours is less . However careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals hat it provides littel creditable support for the experts’s conclusion . Hence , the arguments seems incomplete or unsbustantiated .
To begin , are the manufacturing product is similar in both the companies ? or in the other words , are both companies belongs from the same manufacturing industry ? . Its is possible that Panoply industry working in very soft industry like FMCG or Pharmaceutical where as alta working industry is very heavy like production of steel pipe or production of trucks . As both industry have very distinct products , job of humans may be different . Person in the soft industry like FMCG generally working in the AC and have very low physical stress whereas labour in steel pipe manufacturing company workes in very high temperature , noisey and dustful enviornment . Therefore ,if production wise physical stress on the human per hour different then experts should not compare them self with industries which are working in same sector .
Secondly , Is both company have same humane intervention in procees or machinery ? . Considering both works in the same sector , there is chance that one has full automatic production assembly leading to use human for reparining and supervision purpose only whereas other is semi automatic industry where people need to continuously work with machine by arranging product in machine , put products and giving command . Due to full automation , worker doesn’t have to carry out risky task which inturn reduce safety incidents . If the scenario exit then reducing time of shift will not bring impactful result .
Lastly , Is human force to production is same in both industries ? or in other worlds , Is work load is analogous in both company ? For instance , if human force to production ration is quite low compare to Panoply industry , then it’s affect human physically and mentally . Employee occupied with lot of work in their plate have very high chance of making mistake during their work and even avoid taking brakes to meet the demands of employer . This mistakes may be converted into fatality due to lack attecntion during work .
In conclusion , the argument stand know is considerably flaw due to its reliance on several unwanted assumptions . If experts consider above three question and provide proper evidence , then its fully possible to evaluate viability of the proposed recommendation to reduce working hours.
Comments
e-rater score report
Also need to argue "Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 2286 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.207 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.105 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.493 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 13, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'claim'.
Suggestion: claim
The experts claims that by reducing time of shift the saf...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts claims that by reducing time of shift the safety incidents of Alta Manufactur...
^^
Line 1, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e of shift the safety incidents of Alta Manufacturing can be bring down . Sated ...
^^
Line 1, column 113, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...of Alta Manufacturing can be bring down . Sated in this way , the argument fails ...
^^
Line 1, column 133, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ng can be bring down . Sated in this way , the argument fails to mention several k...
^^
Line 1, column 185, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ent fails to mention several key factors , reveal several instance of poor termino...
^^
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun instance seems to be countable; consider using: 'several instances'.
Suggestion: several instances
...to mention several key factors , reveal several instance of poor terminology and distorts the vi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 363, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...with company whose working hours is less . However careful scrutiny of the evidenc...
^^
Line 1, column 485, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ble support for the experts’s conclusion . Hence , the arguments seems incomplete ...
^^
Line 1, column 493, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ort for the experts’s conclusion . Hence , the arguments seems incomplete or unsbu...
^^
Line 1, column 545, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ents seems incomplete or unsbustantiated . To begin , are the manufacturing pro...
^^
Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...omplete or unsbustantiated . To begin , are the manufacturing product is simila...
^^
Line 3, column 77, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...duct is similar in both the companies ? or in the other words , are both companie...
^^
Line 3, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is similar in both the companies ? or in the other words , are both companies bel...
^^
Line 3, column 99, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...h the companies ? or in the other words , are both companies belongs from the sa...
^^
Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... words , are both companies belongs from the same manufacturing industry ? . Its ...
^^
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...from the same manufacturing industry ? . Its is possible that Panoply industry w...
^
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...ft industry like FMCG or Pharmaceutical where as alta working industry is very heavy lik...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 365, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...on of steel pipe or production of trucks . As both industry have very distinct pro...
^^
Line 3, column 412, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...oth industry have very distinct products , job of humans may be different . Person...
^^
Line 3, column 445, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...roducts , job of humans may be different . Person in the soft industry like FMCG g...
^^
Line 3, column 630, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... company workes in very high temperature , noisey and dustful enviornment . Theref...
^^
Line 3, column 663, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...erature , noisey and dustful enviornment . Therefore ,if production wise physical...
^^
Line 3, column 675, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...isey and dustful enviornment . Therefore ,if production wise physical stress on t...
^^
Line 3, column 679, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and dustful enviornment . Therefore ,if production wise physical stress on the h...
^^
Line 3, column 745, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
... stress on the human per hour different then experts should not compare them self wi...
^^^^
Line 3, column 835, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ustries which are working in same sector . Secondly , Is both company have same...
^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...are working in same sector . Secondly , Is both company have same humane interv...
^^
Line 5, column 84, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... intervention in procees or machinery ? . Considering both works in the same sect...
^
Line 5, column 127, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...onsidering both works in the same sector , there is chance that one has full autom...
^^
Line 5, column 383, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... machine by arranging product in machine , put products and giving command . Due t...
^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...achine , put products and giving command . Due to full automation , worker doesn’t...
^^
Line 5, column 442, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... giving command . Due to full automation , worker doesn’t have to carry out risky ...
^^
Line 5, column 525, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ask which inturn reduce safety incidents . If the scenario exit then reducing time...
^^
Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... which inturn reduce safety incidents . If the scenario exit then reducing time of...
^^
Line 5, column 608, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...of shift will not bring impactful result . Lastly , Is human force to productio...
^^
Line 7, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...l not bring impactful result . Lastly , Is human force to production is same in...
^^
Line 7, column 68, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...production is same in both industries ? or in other worlds , Is work load is analo...
^^
Line 7, column 86, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... in both industries ? or in other worlds , Is work load is analogous in both compa...
^^
Line 7, column 145, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...analogous in both company ? For instance , if human force to production ration is ...
^^
Line 7, column 224, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...is quite low compare to Panoply industry , then it’s affect human physically and m...
^^
Line 7, column 273, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t’s affect human physically and mentally . Employee occupied with lot of work in t...
^^
Line 7, column 444, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...g brakes to meet the demands of employer . This mistakes may be converted into fat...
^^
Line 7, column 526, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ality due to lack attecntion during work . In conclusion , the argument stand k...
^^
Line 9, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ttecntion during work . In conclusion , the argument stand know is considerably...
^^
Line 9, column 113, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...reliance on several unwanted assumptions . If experts consider above three questio...
^^
Line 9, column 184, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ree question and provide proper evidence , then its fully possible to evaluate via...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, whereas, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2352.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 438.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3698630137 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86946885486 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529680365297 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.3540981464 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.0 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8571428571 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 47.0 5.25449101796 894% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149021177255 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0456750844533 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0329943387141 0.0701772020484 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0792686157474 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0375799163194 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.