During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The arguer claims that it is the shorter work shifts that attributes to the superior safety record in Panoply Industries. However, the facts in this conclusion could be relied on several alternative explanations, which leave the authors’ argument unfounded.
Firstly, the fact that the on-the-job accidents in newly opened factory could be caused by the workers with improper job training, while the employees in Panoply have regular training about safety. If the workers are much younger than those in Panoply in the average, and the factory provides insufficient amount of training courses about safety, facilities manufaction and so on, then most employees in new factory would be more likely to cause on-the-job accidents, since they lack enough mature job skills as well as the attention to job safety .
Secondly, the reason why Panoply have unsurpassed safety record is that it owns advanced facilities, and gleaned strong financial support in updating producing techniques. There is no doubt that facilities with high quality play a crucial role in during the production. It is likely that Panoply Industries have adequate budgets from the local authority and its shareholders, then it would alter the outmoded facilities, even recreate the producing process. Nevertheless, the newly opened factory might suffer from shortage of funding and business partners, and the leadership are busy with dealing with other emergent issues, not to mention the improvement of the facilities and safety training to its employees.
Lastly, the fact that the outstanding safety record in Panoply Industries could be explained by the larger amount of employees, which have a significant difference compared with the new factory. Since the newly-founded factory might have plentiful job vacancy due to the imbalanced supply-and-demand in the job market, the workers in Panoply are greater than it saliently. For instance, there are over 30,000 workers in Panoply Industries, while the number of employees in the new factory only accounts for its 10 percent. In this case, if the later has 10 on-the-job accidents every year, then the rate of workers who have accidents is much larger than the former with the same number of injured employees during the production. Either of the scenarios, if true, would render the author’s proposed explanation unconvincing.
In conclusion, although it is reasonable to believe that the experts’ suggestions about the fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers, there are multiple possible explanations that can account for the facts mentioned in the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 2138 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.318 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.769 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.879 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 548, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s as well as the attention to job safety . Secondly, the reason why Panoply ha...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, no doubt, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2202.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.4776119403 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90564680291 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519900497512 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.1563660805 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.285714286 119.503703932 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7142857143 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.4285714286 5.70786347227 183% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257554774795 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0866596894933 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654616413666 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122617041037 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0848122374037 0.0628817314937 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 14.3799401198 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.3550499002 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.1 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.5 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.